Underneath
by Harry Georgeson
Summary: Hermione feels betrayed when Snape attacks her and prevents her from aiding in the final battle, how will they deal with the aftermath. UPDATED FINALLY!
1. Underneath

Disclaimer: All I know is the computer on which I typed this story ;)

Note: This is my first fanfiction written for anyone but myself. So needless to say it's a bit rough about the edges, but please let me know what you think and how I might improve the story.

* * *

I had told myself many times it would be painful, ugly. I knew no matter the outcome it would only end in pain. That's what they say, isn't it, "In war there are no winners, only losers." I knew all of that very well, but I still wasn't ready.

How can you be ready to walk through a field knee deep with bodies? How can you carry on after staring into the blank eyes of friends you've known most of your life? How can you live with the guilt, knowing that you could have saved them?

* * *

Rolling over in her bed, she hid her eyes from the invading sunlight. The sun felt cruel, barging in on the privacy of her misery. She pulled her quilt over her head, trying to hide from the day just a little bit longer.

Fate, it seems, would not let her rest for very long because just as she began to doze off she heard a knock at the door. Glaring through her quilt in the direction of the door she waited for the intruder to leave, but another more insistent knock at the door told her they had no intention of leaving her alone. As the door opened she held still trying to pretend she was still asleep.

"Come on love, it's time to get out of bed now. You've been in here long enough." the tenor voice spoke sweetly. "Hermione I know you're awake," she cursed silently. "I have had enough children to know when one is sleeping or not."

"Where's Molly?" Hermione grumbled.

"She thinks she's too soft on you. She sent me up to be firm and make you come downstairs to eat." Hermione had to let the slightest smirk show, Molly was right, and she had taken advantage of her pity.

"I know what you've gone through Hermione, we've all experienced it too and it hurts. However, if you give up on life so easily then what did Ron, Ginny and everyone else sacrifice their lives for. So another life could go on being improperly lived?"

His comment stung she knew he was right and so she pulled the quilt from off her head and sat up slowly. Her eyes shone with tears.

"I'm coming," she said bitterly. She didn't want to but lately she felt as though the fight had been taken out of her. She obediently followed Arthur Weasley out of her bedroom and down the steps of 12 Grimmauld Place.

In the kitchen Molly Weasley sat sipping a cup of tea. Fred and George spoke quietly at their end of the table, conferring every so often with Harry, who sat solemnly across from the twins. When they noticed Hermione hiding in the shadows, they all stood. Harry walked over to Hermione and extended his hand to her. Ignoring his offer, Hermione looked down and walked past him to her seat. Molly placed breakfast before Hermione, which she obligingly began to pick at.

"How have you been?" Harry asked politely, Hermione only shrugged in response. Harry sighed looking into Mrs. Weasley's sympathetic eyes. Everyone sat in silence until they heard the familiar pop of someone apparating. Molly rushed to the foyer to see who had arrived. She returned momentarily, followed by Professor Snape in a billow of black robes.

Hermione grimaced openly, as did the younger occupants of the room. Though Snape had shown his true loyalty to the Order in the final battle, she could scarcely bear to look at him. He had killed Dumbledore, and though it had been against his own will, the sight of his greasy hair and beak-like nose made her sick.

"So Severus, how are things?" Mr. Weasley asked, peering over the morning's issue of the Daily Prophet.

"Hogwarts is recovering, of course, thanks to Professor McGonagall's leadership. However our numbers have suffered greatly." Snape spoke tentatively, aware of the animosity being projected towards him. "We are horribly understaffed due to the regretful loss of Professor Slughorn and..."

Snape stopped speaking as he caught Harry glaring at him, daring him to say Dumbledore's name. He calmly sat down in the seat next to Hermione; she openly shrank back at his presence.

"Minerva is forced into a conflict, she is Headmistress as well as head of Gryffindor, and presently she is teaching Transfiguration."

"And what of Potions?" Mrs. Weasley asked from across the table, as she summoned a cup and saucer.

"I have been reinstated as the Potions instructor, we are presently not teaching Defense against the Dark Arts." Professor Snape spoke quickly in his usual manner. "This leads me to the business of my visit."

Pausing to accept a cup of tea from Mrs. Weasley, he cleared his throat and continued.

"I am here to present Miss Granger and Mister Potter with a proposition." Pulling two scrolls from his robes he elaborated. "We find ourselves in grave need of assistance at Hogwarts, and being that the two of you are highly qualified, the headmistress would like to offer tenure as professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Here are the official offers of employment from Professor McGonagall. If you are willing to accept the offer put forward all you must do is sign said parchment and arrangements will be made for you to start as soon as possible."

"I would never work for you," Hermione spat out staring at the parchment.

"Miss Granger," he said with cool contempt. "I would not be your employer. On the contrary, whether or not you are employed at Hogwarts is of little consequence to me. I am simply a messenger for the headmistress. It is for her sake, not mine that I would ask you to consider employment."

Hermione fumed, wanting nothing more than to slap the nonchalant look from his face. She chanced a look at Harry, who appeared remarkably calm, this fueled her anger. Noticing her look Harry leaned close to whisper in her ear.

"Mione she needs us, Snape can go bugger himself, don't let him make your decision." At that Hermione stood up with fury.

"No Harry," she yelled. "I will NEVER work with that murderer." Snape's eyes deadened as Mr. Weasley.

"Now Hermione, he has shown penitence for what he did under a wizard's oath and he gave us forewarning of attack. He helped us win this war, he deserves your respect."

"He deserves nothing," she retaliated. "This so called honourable man is responsible for the death of your two youngest children and half the population at Hogwarts."

Professor Snape's eyes glazed over in anger for a moment, but he quickly returned to his cool demeanor.

"Apparently Miss Granger, you must have lost your mind wasting the days away in your room." Snape replied. "Perhaps it is advantageous that you do not wish to take the position, your logic seems to have evaded you. You might end up harming the children's fragile young minds." He finished, twisting the knife. Eyes brimming with tears she ran out of the room. Molly looked at Professor Snape scathingly.

"Really Severus, she was overreacting but was that necessary?"

"I'll go talk to her." Harry said quietly as he hurried out the door.

* * *

Let me know what you think, I'm incredibly new at this. 


	2. Changes

Thanks for the reviews, I've already handwritten atleast 16 pages of story, I just get hung up on the revision.

Last time:

"_I'll go talk to her." Harry said quietly as he hurried out the door._

* * *

Following the sound of crying he found Hermione balled up on the living room couch. He sat down beside her and gathered her into his arms. She didn't have it in her to psh him away anymore.

"Ignore that greasy git; he just loves to see people cry." At this Hermione began to cry even harder.

"I miss Ron so much Harry, and Ginny too." Hermione sobbed, pressing her face into Harry's chest. "They're dead and I could have stopped it."

" 'Mione, there's nothing any of us could have done. Merlin, I miss them everyday. There isn't a moment in this past year that I haven't been haunted by the memories of that night." Harry whispered into Hermione's hair, holding her close as his eyes brimmed with tears. "You can't let Snape do this to you, you're just punishing yourself and you don't deserve it." Hermione sniffled in Harry's arms but didn't respond.

"Come now Hermione, I think it would be good for you to get out of this stuffy old house. Hogwarts used to be our home, and though I sympathize with your anger, I can't stand idly by when I'm needed. Please consider Minerva's offer. She's done so much for us, we should return on that favor." With that Harry stood up, and mumbling a farewell, he left the living room. He hadn't yelled or chastised her but she felt humbled by the conviction in his voice. 'When did he get so smart?' she smirked grimly. She sat in heavy silence for an indeterminate amount of time considering her options.

Finally she stood up, straightened her robes, and walked with renewed vigor towards the kitchen. "For Minerva," she whispered as she pushed the kitchen door open.

* * *

Professor Snape sat brooding as Molly doted on Harry, congratulating him on his newly accepted position. Hermione stood in the doorway unnoticed until Fred and George looked up and called on her to enter the room.

"I've made my decision," she spoke softly; she picked up the scroll, unrolling it on the table. Taking the proffered quill, Hermione signed her name steadily. When she finished the scroll rolled itself up and in a shimmering light it disappeared.

"Very well then, my business here is finished. You shall receive a letter with information concerning the particulars of employment presently." With that Snape stood, and nodding his farewell he left the kitchen and apparated out of the house.

* * *

Two weeks later the inhabitants of 12 Grimmauld Place gathered in the foyer. Harry and Hermione were dressed in new robes with their belongings stacked behind them.

"Oh I'm so proud of you," Molly blubbered, squeezing them each in turn. "I'll miss you all so much, but I am so proud of you." She spoke quickly dissolving into tears. She had been in this state for much of the last week. Harry and Hermione had become her children, and she was sad to have her nest emptied once again. Arthur patted Harry on the shoulder, and then moved to Hermione giving her a gentle hug and kiss on the forehead.

"You'll do wonderfully, both of you." Arthur smiled, shrinking their luggage to a pocket-able size and handing them to the young adults in front of him. "Hedwig has already flown to Hogwarts, so I guess that's everything. It's time for you two to be leaving."

Harry glanced at the clock in the corner. "Why yes it is, come on Hermione I know the apparation point." Harry held Hermione close and with a pop they disappeared.

Arriving outside Hogwarts front gate, they took a moment to recover. Then they made their way to the imposing doors of Hogwarts. As they scaled the steps, the doors opened revealing the Headmistress clad in a green robe with tartan accents.

"Good morning Mister Potter, Miss Granger," Minerva started seriously. When Hermione reached the landing she pulled her against herself in a strong hug. "How have you been dear?" she whispered, Hermione gave a half-hearted smile in response.

"Well if you'll follow me," she made a grand sweeping gesture, leading them into the castle and up the main staircase. "Mister Potter, I'm sure you recall where the DADA classroom is from your years at Hogwarts. Your quarters can be found behind the tapestry hanging in your office. The passwords are written here." She said handing him a piece of parchment.

"Yes Headmistress." Harry nodded, and made to leave.

"Oh and Potter, I will be hosting a welcome dinner for you at 6:30 pm. Dress will be dress casual." With that she ushered Hermione up the stairway toward Gryffindor tower.

"Your rooms are located just below Gryffindor tower, a minor inconvenience considering your classroom is on the other side of the castle. Of course your office is right beside your classroom; I always found it to be my sanctuary. Well here we are. The password is _adelphos_, you may change it as you please. Well, I'm sure you'd like to get settled in. See you at 6:30." Hermione mumbled good-bye as she walked off. "Hermione," she stopped. "Take care of yourself," she smiled sadly.

Hermione stared at the portrait guarding the entrance. Seeing her stare the man, who had been lying in a field staring at the sky, stood and walked to the front of the painting.

"Guten Abend. Wer konnte diese reizende Dame sein?" the man asked in German.

"Ich heisse Hermione Granger. Leider, ich spreche und bisschen Deutsch, sprechen Sie Englisch?" she fumbled with her words.

"Verzeihen Sie mir, my apologies, it has been quite sometime since I have been in a building where English is spoken. I am Jannes Bartholdy, son of Ludwig of the tow of Regnetschon."

"Pleased to meet you," she forced a smile. 'There's no need to make enemies with the portrait to my room,' she thought. "Adelphos," she spoke clearly.

"Wilkommen zu Ihre Raume, Frauline." Jannes said, bowing then opening to reveal a sitting room adorned with red and gold. Entering the room she reached into her pocket and retrieved her trunks. Unshrinking them each in turn, she located the trunk withher books and levitated them onto the shelves. After arranging her supplies on an ornate writing desk below the window, she entered her bedroom.

"You've out done yourself Minerva." She murmurred to the still air. Gazing around the wonderfully decorated room, her eyes fell upon the king sized bed situated diagonally in the corner of the room. Sighing, she lay down on the huge bed, sinking into the fluffy down comforter. Her eyes drifted shut allowing her to slip into dream world.

Hours later she awoke to the sound of Harry's voice, though looking around she didn't see him. "Where are you?"

"The fireplace, sleepyhead." Harry laughed, seeing Hermione's bleary eyes.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, self consciously flattening her hair.

"Are you ready yet?"

"Ready for what?"

"Why dinner of course," he smirked. "Though take it that since you're just waking you aren't. No matter, I'll be by to pick you up in a few minutes. What's your password?" "Adelphos." "Alright, see you soon... Wait, which portrait is your room behind?"

"Behind the man resting in a field, near Gryffindor tower."

"Ok, see you soon." and with that he disappeared. Hermione walked over to her trunk and muttered a charm to put away her clothes. She surveyed her options eventually choosing a black dress robes, she had little taste for color anymore. She left her room and sat in her study waiting for Harry. A few mintues later she heard yelling from outside her rooms. Curious, she went to investigate. Opening the portrait with some force revealed a very flustered looking Harry.

"Do not worry Frauline, I will dispatch of this nuisance, go back to your chambers." Jannes said with a chilvarous gleam in his eye.

"Hermione, the portrait, " he said as though it were an insult. "Thinks I'm coming to, as he put it 'deflower your maidenhood.' I'm trying to tell him that I'm just here to pick you up but he won't listen."

"A young man such as yourself has no business in the quarters of a lady who is NOT his betrothed." Jannes fumed.

"Oh come off it you stuffy old windbag, she's my friend, I am coming to pick her up to take her to dinner. A very public dinner with all the Hogwarts staff."

"Harry, don't fight with the portraits!" Hermione said with surprising force. "Jannes, Harry is my friend and I would appreciate if from now on you allow him entrance to my quarters."

"But he..." Jannes argued.

"I thank you greatly for your concern Jannes. But please respect my wishes."

"Yes, Frauline," he said defeated.

"Come in Harry, I need to get my cloak." Turning back she entered her study. As Harry passed the portrait Jannes whispered and insult only Harry could hear.

"Oh, go drink paint thinner." Harry barked.

"Harry!" Hermioen chastised.

"He started it!" He whined.

"Oh grow up." Hermione yelled from her room. She returned with her cloak, fastening it about her neck. "Alright let's go."

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That took awhile to write, I was going to end it earlier but I wanted to share that last bit sooner than later. Let me know what you think it keeps me motivated when my back and fingers cramp up from typing. ;)


	3. Feelings

Thanks once again for the reviews. I hope you enjoy this next installment in the story.

* * *

They moved at a leisurely pace towards the Headmistress' office. Turning the corner as they approached the office they saw a familiar black robed figure approach the gargoyle statue. Hearing them approach the figure turned, applying his best sneer.

"Why Miss Granger you finally managed to draw yourself out of your self pity long enough to join us for dinner." he mocked.

"You're just bitter about losing the title of most sad self serving person in Hogwarts." Hermione said softly.

"Hermione!" Harry said, shocked at the insult as well as the self hate in her voice. Snape's eyes narrowed as he went in for the proverbial kill.

"Miss Granger, I'm sure it will sadden you to be informed that neither you nor I lay sole claim to being the most miserable creature in this school. Furthermore, though the Weasleys, Mr. Potter, and no doubt every single person you have come across since the war, has shown you pity and encouraged you to lie like a cat licking your wound; you will receive no such treatment from me. Now if you are quite finished handing out insults, we have a dinner to attend."

With that Snape spoke the password leaving Hermione and Harry behind in shock. Surprisingly Hermione recovered first and cursing angrily under her breath, she pulled Harry behind her up the stairs to the Headmistress' office. As they reached the Headmistress' door it automatically opened. Inside the office was a banquet table dressed in fine linen. House colors blended into the thread of the table linens created a shimmering effect.

"Excellent our guests of honour have arrived, we can get started now." Minerva smiled. "Hermione, Harry please sit beside me." At the invitation everyone took their seats. Hermione sat to Minerva's right quietly unfolding her napkin and placing it on her lap. Snape, who had been lingering by the doorway, rolled his eyes and took his seat which was now two to the right of Minerva due to their "honoured guests."

As he took his seat he saw Hermione glare at him. 'Ungrateful girl,' he thought. 'She'd be dead if not for me. Yet she treats me as though the Dark Lord could never compare to the evil I carry inside. What does she know?' Allowing his hair to shade his face he surveyed his company. All of the professors chatted amicably about quidditch, spells, and other niceties. His eyes drifted to Hermione who was talking quietly with Minerva. Her mouth smiled but the sentiment obviously didn't reach her eyes. He studied her face intently, noting the slight up turn of her nose, the becoming blush of her cheeks, and the intensity of her sad eyes. His eye drifted to Minerva who was staring at him with an evil grin on her face.

Sneering, he turned his head away too quickly and felt the acute pain of whiplash. Ignoring it he placed an extraordinary amount of effort into eating his dinner. As the company finished dinner, the plates disappeared and were replaced by coffee and dessert.

"So Hermione, I hear you aren't happy with just being a Master of Transfiguration. Perhaps you'll take on another apprenticeship in addition to your teaching?" Professor Flitwick asked.

"Oh I don't know, there is so much I want to study. I haven't even learned everything there is to know about Transfiguration. I have to weigh my options first."

"Well I'd be honoured to be your mentor in Charms." Professor Flitwick countered. The rest of the professors heartily agreed except for Snape. Everyone looked to him expectantly, waiting for his offer.

"Though I will admit," he started, drawing himself to full seated height, "that Miss Granger was adequate in Potions during her schooling; I doubt that she or Mr. Potter wish to see anymore time spent between the two of us than necessary." the professors started at him in shock.

"Well I feel my presence is no longer wanted here, so I will take my leave of your company. Thank you for the meal Minerva." With a curt nod he left the office. Upon his departure the professors began chattering again.

"There certainly was a bee in his bonnet." "Kind of out of sorts don't you think?" "Only recently," "No he's always been that way." "What he needs is a real good..."

"Pomona!" Minerva yelped. "Now that's quite enough."

"Vacation." Pomona finished without conviction. "Anyway Harry, what will you be doing with your free time at Hogwarts?"

"I would like to assist Madame Hooch with quidditch and flying practices if she would allow me to offer such assistance." he said turning on his charm.

"Certainly Harry, and please, call me Rolanda." she smiled.

"Excellent, goodness look at the time. I have certain business matters to attend to, so I'm afraid we must call it a night. Thank you all very much for coming." Salutations were shared as the professors departed; Harry took Hermione's arm in his and led her towards her chambers.

"You looked lovely tonight," he said as they stopped by a window. "It's been so long since I've seen you smile, I'm glad to see it again." Harry pulled Hermione to him for a hug. He rested his chin on top of her head, holding her like a china doll.

Pulling away he looked Hermione in her watery eyes, he leaned forward slowly closing his eyes. Hermione tilted her head up accepting his warm lips on hers. They kissed softly at first, his hands creeping down from her waist. As Harry opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, a loud clanging sound broke the silent spell they had been under. Harry had pulled his wand out with amazing speed. He murmured_ Lumos_ just in time to see a cat that looked suspiciously like Mrs. Norris scurrying off. Harry quirked an eyebrow curiously, shrugged, then turned back to Hermione to resume kissing her.

"Erm, Harry maybe we shouldn't. I'm sorry it's just..." she whispered putting a hand up to his puckered lips.

"Too soon? It's ok I understand." They continued up to Hermione's chambers and thinking better than to anger Jannes again they said a quiet goodbye away from the portrait. "Sleep sweet 'Mione."

"Good night Harry." Hermione said as Harry walked off. She turned around to go to her portrait. As she watched she saw movement in the corner, she drew her wand and lit it to investigate. "Must have been Nearly Headless Nick or Peeves," she said dismissively when she found nothing. Nevertheless she hurried over to her portrait, whispered the password and retreated into her chambers

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Hee hee, this story is getting good, hopefully you agree. Let me know what you think.


	4. Memories

I was going to wait awhile to update and add to the suspense a bit but I couldn't help myself. Once again thanks for the reviews, I'm glad you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

Professor Snape retreated to the dungeons, fuming and thoroughly sickened with himself. He had been wandering the halls after dinner to clear his mind with Mrs. Norris at his heels as she had been inclined to do since the war had ended, for some ungodly reason. He had long since stopped trying to scare her off since it was a losing battle. Eventually he found himself near Gryffindor tower. He saw ahead of him the outlined figures of Mr. Potter and Miss Granger walking towards the tower. Against his better judgment he cast a disillusionment charm and began to follow them. They came to a window overlooking Hogwarts grounds, the light of at dusk made her light brown hair glow. It was then that Harry pulled Hermione into his arms kissing her. His shock caused him to run into a nearby suit of armor, the couple sprang apart. Snape moved quickly, righting the armor simultaneously shooting a zap of magic at Mrs. Norris to frighten her. As predicted she ran off, catching the couples' eye and satiating their curiosity.

He the better part of him screamed at him to leave but his desire to see what happened next overwhelmed him. His lip curled as he saw Harry attempt to her again, but formed into the slightest of smiles as she rejected him. They continued on and he followed staring at Hermione the whole time. As Harry walked off, Hermione stared over to the area he was presently occupying. He quickly slid out of the way and down the hall as he heard her whisper _Lumos_. He hurried down the corridor and remained under the disillusionment charm until he reached the safety of the dungeons.

'Losing your touch old boy?' he thought as he settled in for the evening. He poured a firewhiskey and sat before the fire staring into its depths. "Sweet Circes," he spoke aloud. "What is my problem? She's not the first person to hate me and she won't be the last."

'Maybe it bothers you that for once it isn't warranted. Then again that's your fault too, for not telling anyone.' his thoughts retorted.

"That wouldn't change anything. I did what had to be done that night, she lived, and the Dark Lord's plan was foiled." he mumbled staring into his whiskey glass.

'You're more of a fool than I thought.'

"Yes and you don't exist, what's your point?" he spat.

'If you told her the truth, she might forgive you.'

"She would most likely hate me for lying to her." Snape responded, with that he banished all other thoughts of Hermione in the bottom of a firewhiskey bottle.

* * *

Hermione took a long bath running over the events of the day. The odd cold feeling she felt every time Professor Snape had glared at her and the strangely disappointing kiss she shared with Harry just an hour or so ago. She got out of the bath, drained the tub and dried her self with a warmed towel set out by the house elves. She dressed for bed and crawled under the covers. Closing her eyes the memories assaulted her immediately.

* * *

"Ron, Hermione, sit here," Harry called from the head of Gryffindor table where Neville Longbottom and Ginny Weasley sat holding hands. Hogwarts had become the home for many alumni and their families as the outside world became increasingly unsafe.

"How was your day?" he asked as they settled onto the benches.

"Oh fine," Hermione began. "I spent the day in the library researching the effects of repeated transfiguration of Kneazles into blankets for Professor McGonagall."

"You know you get a twisted joy out of things like that, I'm really quite worried for you." Ron spoke with his mouth full of chicken.

"What else is there to do, holed up in this castle for the last year? I'd rather leave this castle with Mastery in Trasnfiguration, than an empty bank account from too much candy and paid entertainment."

"For your information Harry and I spend most of the day formulating plans to deal with Voldemort. I'm not as useless as you think 'Mione."

"Would you all stop it already? I have enough on my mind without the two of you going at it like..." Harry's words were cut off by the hall doors slamming open. Exclamations of shock could be heard as all eyes settled on the man standing in the doorway. A bloodied and beaten Professor Snape stood for a moment before hurrying up to the head table. They watched fearfully as he spoke with the Headmistress, her eyes kept drifting to the head of Gryffindor table considering them. Her face blanched and as he finished she immediately took action.

"Attention, would everyone please make haste to the designated safe houses. Mr. Weasley, Madame Rosmerta, and Professor Flitwick see to it that all children 6th years and under make it there safely. Join us in the Great Hall when you have finished raising the wards. The rest of you please follow me." She began to walk away, but stopped and turned to Hermione.

"Oh, Miss Granger would you please tend to Professor Snape in Madame Pomfrey's absence?" Hermione flinched, but silently obeyed following Professor Snape to the Hospital Wing.

"Hurry up," he spat over his shoulder speeding down the corridor.

"If you hadn't noticed, my legs are sufficiently shorter than yours." Hermione grumbled under her breath. Professor Snape upon hearing this stopped, Hermione shrank back fearful of what he might do.

"This is ridiculous, you can perform a healing spell here just as well as in the Hospital Wing." grabbing her arm he led her into a nearby classroom. After warding the door he sat down on a stool and eyed her expectantly. "Well, get on with it."

As Hermione went about diagnosing and healing his wounds, she felt Snape's eyes boring into her. For a few minutes she ignored him, but eventually his attentions wore at her. "What!" She snapped, glaring at him. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," he said dismissively, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly. Hermione went back to work as Professor Snape stared off into the distance.

"Do you think this will be the last battle?" she asked timidly.

"There's no way to know for sure, but the Dark Lord does intend to end this tonight." he said darkly, Hermione nodded.

"Why did you come back?"

"You know perfectly well that it is my duty to inform..."

"No," she interrupted. "Why did you come back after you...you..."

"Killed Professor Dumbledore?" he offered his voice laden with spite, she nodded solemnly. "Because the Headmistress saw fit to offer me forgiveness, the rest is none of your concern."

"Like hell it isn't!" she yelled.

"You will not take that tone with a professor."

"You're not my professor, not since you assassinated Professor Dumbledore."

"You stupid girl, there are some things even you don't understand." As he spoke an explosion shook the building. "It has begun, follow me." Snape took out his wand and made for the door.

"Why should I go with you?" She questioned.

"Do you want to live?" He asked rhetorically. "Then follow me." They exited into the hallway, Snape led the way checking around corners leading them further and further down in the castle.

"Where are we going? The sound came from the main door."

"I'm keeping you safe."

"Harry needs me!"

"If you go to the main door the Dark Lord will undoubtedly win." Snape said icily staring her down.

"You coward, they know you're a traitor and they'll kill you on sight. You just don't want to be the only able bodied fighter to skip out on those who need you."

"You bloody child, sometimes you don't know everything, and sometimes there are things that you will not understand. Now just follow me." She ignored his command and ran in the opposite direction. "_Stupefy_." Hermione heard the word too late. Falling to the ground, her head cracked on the stone and the world went black.

* * *

Mwhaha my first cliffhanger...I guess... Want to know what happens to Hermione? Any theories? Let me know, I love hearing from you. 


	5. Broken Angel

So many reviews, what can I say, thank you very much. They've actually given me ideas, which is good cause this chapter signifies the end of the material I already wrote.

* * *

Hermione shot up in her bed. Her breathing slowly returned to normal as she took in her surroundings. 'Bloody hell,' she thought lying back on her pillow. Subconsciously she rubbed the spot where the once was an abnormally large bump. Try as she might she could remember nothing of that night. When she came to after Snape's attack, she found herself on a bed in the Potions classroom, her head throbbing.

Closing her eyes she remembered the rest in vivid detail.

Glancing about she saw that Professor Snape was nowhere to be found. She sat up quickly, swooned and fell back on the bed. "Gods, my head." she groaned reaching up to gingerly touch the source of the pain. A thick cream had been applied to the broken skin and it felt as though it was healing steadily. "How wonderfully kind of him, he attacks me, then takes pains in seeing to his victims comfort." the sound of footsteps in the hall drove her out of her reverie. Sliding behind the bed as quickly as her body would move she summoned her wand hopefully. She jumped as the wand immediately came to her hand. 'Didn't even bother to take my wand.' she thought. Suddenly the door opened and she heard footsteps enter the room and stop.

"He said she'd be here," a deep baritone voice barked. "Wouldn't put it past him to lie to save his own skin, he was a death eater after all."

"Oh be quiet you aren't helping anything." a voice Hermione recognized as Headmistress McGonagall breathed. "Miss Granger, reveal yourself to us please."

Hermione weighed her options, what had happened while she was out. Was this actually the Headmistress or a death eater playing her for a fool? Deciding to put her faith in the Headmistress, she carefully stood with her wand trained at them both.

"Oh Hermione, you're alright." she half sobbed as she approached.

"Not so fast. What is my favorite book?" Hermione asked still brandishing her wand.

"Hogwarts, A History." she stated. "I understand your wariness, but the danger is over. We were so worried about you." she said tearfully hugging Hermione tightly.

"It's over?" Hermione blinked.

"Yes dear. Voldemort is dead." At this Hermione collapsed McGonagall held her tightly. "Hermione are you ok?"

"Um I guess I'm just shocked."

"Of course." she replied setting her back on to the bed. "If you are well enough, I need you to follow me. Harry wants to see you." Hermione smiled briefly, Harry was alive. McGonagall led Hermione up through the castle and out onto the lawn. The sight she met nearly caused her to collapse once again. The lawn was practically covered with the dead and injured, Aurors and volunteers tended to the bodies. The Headmistress took Hermione's elbow to encourage her to keep moving. She walked along in shock, cold dead eyes of classmates and acquaintances from Hogsmeade stared at her, empty and black. Tears began streaming from her eyes without her knowing as she passed more and more familiar faces both friend and foe. Ernie Macmillan. Draco Malfoy. Hannah Abbott. Blaise Zabini. Dean Thomas. She fell to her knees as she caught sight of Neville Longbottom, his body shielding that of Ginny Weasley. "No." she croaked, her head throbbing. Headmistress McGonagall stood behind her, her hand on her shoulder, crying silently. After a few minutes she helped her stand.

"Come, you need to keep moving." she led Hermione along the winding path among the bodies; eventually Hermione saw the place where she was being led, the Quidditch pitch. She saw the huddled mass surrounded by three Aurors and her heart leapt into her throat. Ignoring her pounding head, she ran past McGonagall tripping as she went. "Let her pass." McGonagall shouted when the Aurors raised there wands at her.

"Harry, Ron, please no." she cried as she collapsed beside the figures. Holding them closer she felt one of them stir.

"Hermione, he...I... I couldn't save him. Cruciatus, so much of it, and then he...he, he killed him all because I wouldn't...I didn't..." his red eyes breaking forth in a torrent of tears. Hermione gathered Harry into her arms they hugged each other desperately and together they cried, mourning as one. After what seemed like hours McGonagall interrupted their silent companionship.

"It's time to move Ron's body." she said holding in her tears as best she could. Two burly men dressed all in black stood waiting by a levitating stretcher. Hermione collapsed on top of Ron's body shedding new tears as she whispered goodbyes and endearments into his ears. Ignoring Harry's signal to go she clung to Ron until Harry grabbed her about the waist picking her up.

"It's time to go 'Mione." he tried to say forcefully through his tears. She pounded his chest, trying to break free but he wouldn't let go. In his arms they followed Ron's body back to the castle.

* * *

Silently, Hermione cried, remembering her friend's lifeless body in her hands. "Why?" she asked the dead of the night. "If he hadn't stunned me, I could have saved him." sitting up and getting out of bed she walked to the bathroom. Fumbling through her cabinets she located a vial that should have contained Dreamless Sleep Potion but it was empty, she cursed at her luck.

After a few moments' contemplation of her varying options she gathered herself together, putting on her dressing gown and headed out of her chambers.

* * *

Hmmm, what will happen? It's not written in stone so will find out together when the next chapter goes up. Let me know what you think!


	6. Moral Obligations

Hiya, sorry this took so long. I hit the end of my prewritten stuff and couldn't decide what to do with this chapter. It ended up being nothing like I had expected. I hope you like it.

Thanks for the reviews. They inspire me greatly.

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Hermione hurried down the hallway like there were werewolves at her heels, not really sure of where she was headed. She shivered as the chill of the castle caught up with her, her nightgown was a thin cotton slip and her dressing gown was not the warmest thing she owned. Ultimately she found herself outside the Hospital Wing. The door was surprisingly unwarded and she slipped inside. She thought to ask Madame Pomfrey for the potion, but then she remembered that Madame Pomfrey was still in station at St Mungo's. She approached the cabinet in which the potions were kept, and found that there were numerous locking spells on the cabinet. 

She raised her wand to begin to unlock the door, and then stopped mid-incantation. Was she so desperate to sleep that she was about to steal from Madame Pomfrey? Or maybe she'd let her consumption of dreamless sleep potion get so out of hand that she had become addicted? Either way she silently left the wing. 'What to do?' she thought as she walked on. Going to the dungeons was right out. She would have to break into his labs and steal ingredients, all of which might involve dealing with an irate potions master.

She considered going to Harry and seeing if having company might help her sleep, but then he might get the wrong idea. "Right," she said aloud. "Hiya Harry, don't mind my tiny little nightgown, I just fancy a cuddle." She couldn't help but laugh at herself.

"Perhaps if your intention is to seduce Mr. Potter you ought to head to his chambers rather than disturb the reveries of others." Hermione jumped as Professor Snape came from the shadows.

"I have no intention to 'seduce' Harry. Not that it's any of your business." Hermione stared at the ground and attempted to walk on, but Professor Snape moved into her path.

"Why are you out in this section of the castle at this time of night?" he demanded, Hermione glared a hole in the floor, tired of his teasing.

"Oh I'm sorry is this your night time glowering spot?" she asked sarcastically. Snape stared down his nose at Hermione.

"Excuse me?" he said incredulously.

"No need, I'll just walk around you." she said as she moved around the professor. Snape just stood there in shock at her performance. He stalked down to the dungeons in a huff. He rushed into his private chambers and undressed himself with a spell. He climbed into bed and closed his eyes trying to force sleep. It was in this time that he was usually assaulted with the worst of his memories. The memory of choice used to be memory of the first innocent he killed.

She was a petite muggleborn woman beaten and raped until she was barely recognizable as a human. At that point he had wanted to be a Death Eater and he was to be accepted into the fold by doing this. Yet as he stood before her writhing in pain, and the realization of his purpose shown in her eyes, he felt he couldn't do it. "Please," he heard the woman croak, he deluded himself to believe that the please had been a request to put her out her misery.

Later the memory that haunted him was when he was forced to murder Dumbledore. It had all been discussed ahead of time and deemed necessary, but when he stared into the eyes of his only decent father figure, he knew he would always live in shame of his deed and of himself.

This night as in every night of the past year his dreams involved his betrayal of Hermione. For the majority of a year after he killed Dumbledore he stayed in hiding at Malfoy Manor. The Dark Lord had been both pleased and angered by Severus' actions. It had been put to Draco to dispose of Dumbledore and the Dark Lord had punished both of them soundly for not doing as instructed. However, Dumbledore was dead and that had saved Severus' life.

After another year he returned to the revels and meetings, it was during this year he began to correspond with Minerva regarding Death Eater movements. The next year he was called to stand at Dark Lord's side at the inner circle. It was there that he learned of the plan to defeat Harry Potter and his Golden Trio. Ancient Magic was to be employed requiring Harry and his two friends to be in the presence of the Dark Lord. Their powers were to be drained and given to the Dark Lord, thus replacing what powers had been lost through the destruction of Horcruxes and multiplying his power. He remembered his final night as a Death Eater vividly.

* * *

"My faithful followers, tonight is the night for which we have been waiting for years. Tonight the "boy-who-lived" will live no more, and a new era will be born. An era of pure-blood supremacy cleansed of mud blood." the Death Eaters cheered. "First we must cleanse our own ranks of the unbelievers and blood traitors." 

Severus felt his pulse race, but strove to keep his mind clear. The Dark Lord called a number of low ranking hooded Death Eaters first.

"Severus, come to me." Severus quickly obeyed though he knew what was to come. "Brothers and sisters, these men have betrayed us all." in a second Severus was disarmed. "Let us show them what we do to traitors, but save the Unforgivables for me."

In an instant hexes and charms of all kinds flew at him. The Death Eaters swarmed about the traitors. Severus attempted to crawl out of the worst of it; he ended up at the feet of Draco Malfoy. He looked into Draco's eyes and he had the oddest look of pity on his face.

Something dropped into his outstretched hand, a small pendant. Attempting to understand he went into Draco's mind to investigate.

'It's a portkey to Hogsmeade, activate it before the Dark Lord can kill you, and warn them.' Draco thought. Severus wondered idly if it was all a trap, but if he was going to die anyway why not.

"Enough." the Dark Lord shouted. The Death Eaters backed off, leaving the traitors to their fate. One by one each traitor was tortured and killed; it was down to Severus and another beaten lump of human life. Severus hoped for the best and activated the portkey.

He arrived at Hogsmeade and forced himself to make haste to Hogwarts. Sneaking in through one of the secret entrances he went to the dungeons. 'Please be there, please be there.' he thought as he approached an open patch of brick. Touching the appropriate bricks they opened revealing Professor Snape's secret safe. It was empty as it had always appeared but he easily pulled the side panel off and gathered his secondary wand. 'Thank Merlin for you Minerva.' She spun on his heel and hurried to the Great Hall where they were undoubtedly having dinner.

* * *

Snape sat up in bed, "Merlin, I'll never sleep with that girl here." He go out of bed and went to his sitting room to read himself to sleep.

* * *

Okie dokie, that's all for now. I hope you like it, let me know what you think. I'm trying to keep the pacing slow yet deliberate cause I have a horrible habit of rushing things.


	7. Mean Ms Mustard?

Wow, once again thanks for the reviews. They inspire me to keep writing...probably when I should be sleeping. hehe oh well. Hope you like the chapter.

* * *

Hermione woke up late to the smell of coffee and sausages. Getting out of bed she put on her dressing gown and entered the sitting room. Dobby stood waiting by a table set up with a traditional English breakfast.

"Dobby was told to wait until Miss Hermione woke up to make sure Miss likes English breakfast." he said cheerily.

"Yes Dobby, I love a good fry-up. Thank you." She said as she sat down at the table, and prepared beans and toast as she munched on a piece of bacon. "If you don't mind my asking, who sent this to me?"

"Dobby mustn't say, he was sworn not to tell." ever the dramatic little House Elf he looked about the room for something to hit himself with. He picked up a book she had left out the previous evening and began hitting himself about the head.

"Dobby." she said advancing on him, he backed off. "Dobby, stop...Dobby stop it." he continued to hit himself as she groped for his hands. "For the love of... DOBBY!" He froze, old habits die hard.

"I don't need to know, Dobby. Please stop, you don't need to do that. I was just curious." she said frantically taking a hold of his hands, quickly snatching the book from his grasp.

"Dobby apologizes Miss." he breathed as he contained himself.

"Now please sit. I would love to have your company as I eat." She layered on the sugar, intent on getting some information out of him. He sat at the chair Hermione summoned for him. Hermione gestured at the food asking him to take some if he desired. He took a sweet roll that Hermione knew must have been entirely Dobby's doing in the first place. They talked easily about random things in the castle and among the House Elves. Dobby had talked Hermione out of her S.P.E.W. crusade during her apprenticeship but she still wanted to be kept up on the goings on with the House Elves. The conversation, though laced with an ulterior motive, made her feel the tiniest bit better inside because of the memories it brought up that weren't laced with sadness. Loads of conversations with Dobby and a few other House Elves, discussing many topics, keeping them interested with random gifts she would procure for them. She decided to ease him into the topic on her mind. "So how has your day been so far?"

"Dobby has had a good day so far. Mr. Potter gave Dobby a sock that lost its match, when Dobby welcomed him back." he said excitedly gesturing to the sock he had fashioned into a hat. Hermione laughed and encouraged him to continue.

"Oh really? At Breakfast? Did you serve it today?"

"Yes, that's when it happened. Then you didn't arrive and he asked Dobby to prepare this."

"So it WAS Harry." she laughed in shock. Dobby's wide eyes grew even larger.

"Dobby mustn't tell. Dobby can't tell." he cried.

"You didn't tell me Dobby." Dobby stopped his self flagellation, staring at her.

"Miss Hermione is right! Dobby didn't tell!" he squealed, quite happy with himself. Hermione smirked; she'd have to thank Harry for his thoughtfulness.

"Thank you Dobby, it's been wonderful talking to you, but there's something I need to do." Dobby smiled and with a snap the food and he disappeared. Hermione showered, dried, and dressed herself quickly. Heading out of her chambers she went down to the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom looking for Harry. Not finding him there she cast a locating charm and rushed in the appropriate direction. She found Harry in the library searching through the books in the Restricted Section.

"Hi Harry." She said to his back. He jumped in spite of himself.

"Hermione! You're up!" He stood up scattering his papers as he turned around to give her a hug. If he was truthful with himself, he had thought that Hermione was avoiding him after last night's incident.

"I wanted to thank you."

"For what?" he said gob smacked.

"You know..." she started. His eyes widened as he thought.

"Umm, oh, yeah." he said smiling.

"The breakfast was a wonderful surprise to wake up to." she hugged his chest as a quizzical look came to his face.

"'Mione, though your reaction makes me wish I had. I mean gods it's good to see you smile, but I didn't arrange your breakfast." Hermione stopped the hug and stepped back.

"What?" she blinked. "Then who did?"

"Probably Minerva," he said dismissively. "She'd do something like that; you're like a daughter to her."

"I guess so." Hermione whispered, utterly confused.

"Anyway, I've just been doing some research. I go worried last night, thinking about my job and how unprepared I am. You have a mastery of Transfiguration, but I've got nothing."

"Merlin, I hadn't thought about it!" she exclaimed. "I need to get back to work." With that she slipped off towards the Transfiguration books.

* * *

Professor Snape woke early after receiving very little sleep. He stretched his cramped muscles as he rose from the sofa he had been lounging on last night as he slept. He took a soothing shower, dressed, then returned to his sitting room to continue his book as he waited for breakfast to start. He found his thoughts consumed by Hermione; to be truthful they were exclusively of her since their debacle two weeks previous. It disconcerted him greatly. When the time came for breakfast to be served he made haste to the Great Hall bringing along his book. Taking his usual spot at the table he filled his plate and immediately opened his book to avoid unwanted conversation.

Every time the door opened he would look surreptitiously over the top of his book simultaneously wanting, and not wanting, to find Hermione there. He found himself nailed to that spot for the entirety of the breakfast period. He didn't understand why but he felt compelled to see this person who hated him so greatly. 'Ever the masochist, eh Severus?' he thought. The worst thing was that he felt the obsession growing and didn't have the power to nip it at the bud as he knew he ought to. When breakfast ended he returned to his chambers and summoned Dobby. After sending him on his way with the task of making Hermione breakfast, he decided to go to the library. 'My own version of getting some fresh air.' he laughed to himself.

He perused the shelves, not really interested in reading at all, just hoping to fill the time. A part of him entertained fantasies of Miss Granger walking in after her breakfast, thanking him and forgiving him, but he knew that was a joke. He'd told Dobby expressly to not tell Hermione who ordered breakfast for her. Sighing he sat down near Harry who was working furiously, crouched over his desk. 'If only he'd worked that hard as a student.' he smirked. The door opened and he glanced over seeing Hermione walk in with something resembling a real smile on her face. His breath quickened as she walked in his direction. Had the House Elf forgotten his promise? His hopes were smashed quickly as she approached the back of the crouching Potter.

They talked loudly for the library, which irked him, but he listened nevertheless. She was thanking him for the 'wonderful breakfast' and he scowled as a hug he wished was his was bestowed. They continued to talk and he started to pay less and less attention.

Eventually Hermione scurried off to wherever and he suddenly felt the urge to follow. For awhile he denied himself but he soon gave in. He searched between the rows of books for her eventually finding her in her favorite spot of years past with a sizable stack of books. 'Why do I know that?' he thought mentally beating himself about the head. He watched from afar as Hermione mumbled to herself "Don't have a bloody quill and parchment." He looked about and finding a small piece of crumbled up parchment and two candy wrappers, he transfigured them into the items she desired. Walking up to her silently he cleared his throat as he stood by her shoulder. She looked up at him, a small vein of fear passing through her eyes that did not go unnoticed.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"Must one always want something?" Snape purred she gave him a scathing look. "I simply overheard your grumbling and thought you might appreciate these things." he said holding out a roll of parchment, a quill and an ink bottle. She arched her eyebrow, taking them from his outstretched hands. She turned around and went back to her book.

"You're welcome, Miss Granger." he said snidely, before turning and storming off. She shook her head, bewildered at what happened.

* * *

I enjoyed writing this chapter, did you enjoy reading it? Let me know!


	8. Deeper

Sorry about the gap in updates, I have this great scene already written involving our dear Severus and Hermione, but I was having trouble coming up with the intervening scenes. Thanks a bunch for the reviews, they make me smile.

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The next two weeks passed curiously. She spent most of her time reading and working on her lesson plans. She had long since finished the first three months worth for all of her classes and had moved on to the later terms just to fill time. She quickly came to realize she hadn't dealt with the first morning in Hogwarts, after the kissing incident, properly. Harry had begun to dote on her like never before. Sometimes she enjoyed his company, she spent so much time in the library and Harry's company kept any potential interactions with Snape at bay. However, Harry took her happy appearance that morning as encouragement, and slowly but surely attempted to woo her.

She felt horribly guilty for her lack of interest in him and had no idea how to let him down easily. Her guilt made her feel even worse. The little improvement she had made through a renewed purpose in life and the potential secret admirer that sent her breakfast three more times, was undermined by the guilt combined with her dreams which had become more frequent and disturbing. At night when she would actually sleep she imagined what had happened, over and over she would envision Ron's death. She denied herself the use of a sleeping potion, even when the dreams were at there worst, an instinct of self-preservation wouldn't allow her to stay addicted.

Instead she roamed the halls listlessly, most nights this would lead her to the quidditch pitch where she would lie in the spot she remembered finding Ron, waking in the morning to Madam Hooch helping her up, pulling grass from her hair, and sending her on her way. When the weather was unfavorable she would stay in the library reading books upon books. Occasionally she would see Snape in her wandering but they would either change their paths in avoidance or just ignore one another.

* * *

It was the night before the students were due to arrive and Headmistress McGonagall held a wonderful feast for the professors to celebrate the new school year. Soft music played as the professors dined and held private discussions. Professor Snape sat silently as always surveying the group. He draped his hair over his eyes as he ventured to look at his Hermione. 'She's not mine,' he chastised himself at the thought. Hermione sat chatting with Mr. Potter; as usual he was fawning over her, a distasteful thing that Severus had noticed over the past two weeks. She smiled and talked in her usual manner, he noticed she was wearing glamours again. At night when he would see her she looked more like him then her usual self. Eyes slightly reddened, skin lacking its healthy glow, dark circles, all together making her look like death warmed over. The glamours she wore now made her look radiant, a fact he was sure the Potter boy was looking forward to taking full advantage of.

He sneered in disgust as Hermione and Harry left the dinner as soon as allowed in polite society. The greater part of him wanted to leave and find the couple to 'accidentally' interrupt what ever rendezvous they were heading off too, but he suppressed it. Instead he engaged Minerva in conversation concerning his duties as deputy headmaster, though he knew full well his duties. After another hour he left the hall and hurried to his dungeons denying with all his might, the fact that he cared about what might be happening elsewhere in the castle.

* * *

Hermione followed Harry up to the Astronomy tower reluctantly at Harry's insistence. When they reached the top he transfigured a hard wooden bench into an upholstered settee.

"Why thank you." she said politely through the sick feeling in her stomach.

"Only the best for you," Harry smiled, sitting much too close for comfort. They sat silently for a few minutes, Harry staring openly at her eyes as the sunset glistened around her.

"So..." she started awkwardly.

"I brought you up here to tell you something." he began. Hermione's stomach did a nervous flip-flop. "I know it's only been two weeks since we kissed, since you said you weren't ready yet, but I was wondering...may I kiss you again." Hermione's eyes went wide and she grasped blindly at an excuse to not kiss him. Her desperation must have shown on her face, because he put up his hand and began talking again. "I'll take that as a no. No matter, I'll wait for as long as you want me to."

Hermione felt like curling into the fetal position and crying, he was being so wonderful to him and she had absolutely no interest and no idea of what to do about his interest. She had to get out of there. "Well Harry, I have a few things I need to take care of. I'll see you later." With that she hurried down the stairwell, leaving behind a disappointed Harry.

She rushed to the library and hid herself in one of the back corners. She busied herself with a book, reading, but not reading its contents. After what she assumed had been a few hours she heard someone walking towards her. Her heart started beating erratically. She couldn't deal with Harry right now. The approaching person turned the corner, it was not Harry as she had expected.

"What are you doing here?" Professor Snape spat.

"What do you care?" she retorted.

"This is not your usual spot." he stated, crossing his arms over his chest. She stared at him in disbelief.

"Are we in first year now? We have to pick spots and stick to them? I felt like sitting here, I'm going to sit here." she practically yelled. She was just too emotional right now to deal well with Snape's attitude.

"Well you can at least give that book. I was reading it yesterday and I would like to continue to do so." He retorted amazed at how much he enjoyed her fiery attitude. Hermione rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Fine I wasn't really reading it anyway."

"Avoiding someone are we?" he smirked.

"Only you Snape, only you." she said in a manner that horrifyingly reminded her of flirting. She physically shook the thought from her head and made to leave. Snape's slender frame filled the majority of the small aisle and as she approached and pressed the book forcefully into his chest, she found herself somehow wrapped in his robes causing them both to fall as she moved on.

She landed chest to chest on top of Snape, for quite a few seconds she stared into his obsidian eyes in shock. She felt, against her will, the long slim muscles beneath his robes and his callused hands that had somehow found her own as she fell. She quickly recovered attempting to stand only to find herself snapped back down against him. They were tangled together.

"Get off me woman!" he barked dangerously.

"I would but our robes are tangled and I can't exactly see them to untangle them." she bit back. Snape mumbled and raised his upper torso off the ground. Hermione was forced to lie smashed against his chest as his arms worked around her to free them. She found herself excited by his earthy smell and his arms seemingly wrapped around her. She reminded herself that this was the man who attacked her and her reaction immediately returned to normal. Before long their robes were freed and Hermione stood up. She held out her hand to assist out of moral obligation, but Snape stubbornly ignored her.

"The hooks on your robe attached to the fabric of my robe causing us to fall." he offered lamely, feeling horribly flustered by the close contact. Hermione blushed and passed him leaving the aisle. "Miss Granger," he called. "Here's something for your insomnia."

She caught the body he tossed to her and quickly began to rebuke his claim but he raised a hand saying. "It's simply a healing potion to help your body recover from the lost sleep." she looked at him quizzically for a moment, before pocketing the potion and leaving.

* * *

Wow, this whole chapter is different from what I wrote by hand a day or so ago. I have to say I like this much better. Let me know what you think, you really do inspire me with your comments. 


	9. Confusion

Thank you so so much for the reviews. I'm glad you enjoy my story. Sorry there was a gap between updates this week has been crazy.

* * *

Hermione paced in the Transfiguration classroom. Last night the welcoming fest had been an emotionally trying experience. She sat in her new spot between Professor Snape and Harry. She didn't recall exactly what the set up of the head table in years past had been, but she knew it had changed and loathed the Headmistress for placing her in such an uncomfortable position.

Harry was rather unsubtly attempting to hold her hand as they ate. She had to keep creating reasons to remove her hand from his grasp. On her other side sat the black hole himself, absorbing all light with his black clothes and dark demeanor. He noticed her hand in Harry's scoffed and then looked away.

She ate the majority of her meal in silence. The younger students stared unabashedly at The-Man-Who-Defeated-Voldemort and the bushy haired woman who held his attention. However the majority of the children laughed and giggled as they ate their meals. It reminded her greatly of a time only a year and a bit ago, when she and her friends would sit in the same spots laughing and ignoring the impending doom that loomed over their heads. When the children were set to their respective common rooms she rushed off to her quarters before Harry could stop her, to prepare her self for the coming day.

The next morning she went to breakfast for appearance sake only. Her stomach was all butterflies and she woke up feeling exhausted. She slept for a total of maybe four hours that night, the haunting image of her last dinner at Hogwarts waking her intermittently throughout the night.

Now, she stood tapping her foot anxiously waiting for her first class to arrive. The first years hurried in, many with vague images of fright on their faces. Hermione flicked her wand and the seating chart appeared on the chalkboard. She sized up the students, an entire years worth of students in one class. The thought made her heart break, how many students should have been there if not for the war. Setting her wand down she cleared her throat and spoke.

"Good morning students and welcome to Transfiguration. I am Professor Granger and I will be teaching you the art of Transfiguration." she fumbled on her words. 'Duh' a blonde Slytherin boy sniggered to his friend. Hermione frowned slightly and continued. "Please find your name on the seating chart and be seated in the correct spots."

"I don't want to sit next to a mudblood." the blonde boy grumbled, Hermione scowled.

"Mr. Amos," she began glancing at the board. "I will not allow such vulgar, offensive language in my classroom is that understood." she practically growled. "Ten points from Slytherin."

The Slytherins in the room groaned in unison. "Now sit down." she said forcefully. He sat down glaring at the poor Hufflepuff forced to sit beside him. She began the class explaining the importance of wand holding and Transfiguration theory and before she knew it the class was over.

The Slytherins stormed out of the room like a troop of junior Death Eaters a thought that made her cringe. The rest of the day passed quickly, though it was interesting teaching those in third through seventh years remembered here from her years at Hogwarts as a student and apprentice.

The most difficult part of teaching was the boys, namely the seventh year Slytherins who found the need to leer at her unabashedly. For the first week she let it slide, they weren't disrupting class so she couldn't punish them, but it was quickly wearing on her last nerve. By the end of the second week she couldn't take it any longer.

She sat in the library that night at what she had grown to know was Professor Snape's desk of choice. For once she actually wished to speak with him. As was his custom he arrived around midnight at the end of his rounds and moved his spot at the back of the library. She smirked at the fact that she actually knew something like that about him. 'He is the other resident night crawler of Hogwarts.'

She steeled herself as he approached, standing abruptly. He stopped a good ten feet away from her, she moved closer to speak with him.

"What," he began only to be cut off.

"I thought it would be better to tell you in private, otherwise I would save it for the breakfast table." he quirked an eyebrow curiously. "Your Slytherins are impossible to deal with, namely the seventh year boys. They keep leering at me; just yesterday I was on the receiving end of a sexual gesture insinuating that I would give him oral satisfaction. I want it to stop."

Professor Snape couldn't help but laugh at her oh so proper way of referring to something rather vulgar. He stopped immediately as she sent him a death glare. "What would you have me do?"

"Make them stop it." she scoffed at him.

"How exactly do you propose I make them stop finding you attractive? I can make sure the gestures stop but you are a good looking wo..." he mentally slapped himself, why couldn't he keep his mouth shut around her. She stared at him incredulously, reminding him it was probably time to speak. "I will make sure it never happens again, Miss...Professor Granger." with that he hurried out of the library, rounding the corner and stopping in the shadows. He put his head in his hands 'idiot' after a few minutes he witnessed Hermione hurry by, her perfume lingering in the air. 'Idiot...Idiot.' he repeated as he hurried down to the dungeons.

* * *

Another two weeks passed, as promised the seventh years stopped leering though a few seemed to still hold a lecherous gleam in their eyes. She took to teaching quite naturally and for the most part the students loved her. Hermione refused to even look at Professor Snape since his confession that he found her attractive. She was utterly blindsided by it, did he like her, and was the weird feeling in her stomach interest in him. She didn't know, but too many questions regarding their "past together" stood in the way, let alone the fact that he was once her teacher. She needed answers and now.

"Professor McGonagall," she called as she waited at the door of her office, she heard a muffled enter and went into the room.

"Good evening Hermione," she smiled. "How are things?"

"Oh, they're going well. I really enjoy teaching." she answered anxious to get to the topic at hand. "I actually had a question. What happened?"

"When?" she asked quickly, concerned.

"During the final battle, what really happened? What happened to me? No one has ever really told me the whole truth."

"Well Hermione, only Severus knows everything. He proposed the idea that it would be best to keep the "Golden Trio" separate and safe."

"Wait," she interrupted. "Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

"I assumed that Severus told you himself as he led you to the dungeons."

"No, he didn't." she fumed, rising from her seat.

"Oh dear, this is horrible, incredibly horrible. We all thought you knew, and then Peter Pettigrew attacked and you were hit by a misfired spell. Severus tended to you, and then joined our forces. It was a shame really, the fighting ended and they carted Severus off to Azkaban." Hermione shook her head in shock, why didn't she remember any of this, she didn't believe it. She turned around and walked out ignoring the Headmistresses calls.

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The next chapter is going to be good I'm almost done with it and it's spring break so I should have it up soon. Let me know what you think, I love hearing from you all. 


	10. The truth?

Thank you very much for the reviews, I'm glad I could update so soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Hermione tossed and turned, she felt confused and betrayed. Why did everyone assume she knew what had happened that night? She'd had a concussion and could only remember sections of the night, yet everyone assumed she knew exactly what happened. What had Snape told them? Thinking back on it no one really bothered to ask her what happened to her that night. In the months following no one seemed to want to discuss what happened that night and eventually any easy opportunity to talk about it had passed.

She had carried a huge grudge towards Snape for his blatant attack on her and now suddenly Peter Pettigrew was in the picture. Try as she might she couldn't remember even the slightest glimpse of Wormtail's greasy hide, yet he had supposedly been there preparing to attack them. She knew that the only way to get to the bottom of this was to hear Snape's side of the story, but that would involve an extended conversation with him. "And conversations with the Professor always end up...interestingly." she said aloud thinking of their past two 'disturbing' interactions. She sighed, giving up all chance of sleep. She went to her sitting room and paced, she didn't want to read, shocking as that may be, but she didn't want to go back to bed. She groaned in angry frustration and left her chambers in her nightgown and slippers. She slammed the portrait causing Jannes to grumble in his sleep.

She walked the halls feeling the chill of the castle, she didn't care at least feeling cold was an emotion she could fully understand. As always she arrived at the library, 'ha, and I said I didn't want to read.' she thought resigning herself to her usual spot. She picked a book off the shelf thumbing through its pages.

"My, my. Someone is up quite late." Hermione nearly jumped a few feet in the air. Turning around she saw Professor Snape dressed in his usual teaching robes staring at her oddly.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked shakily.

"I imagine I'm doing the same thing you have been doing since you arrived here." he responded vaguely. "Too cold for the quidditch pitch tonight?" He smirked giving her a look that made her feel the need to cover herself with her arms. She stood quickly leaving the book open on the table and made to leave.

"If you're going to be difficult, I'll go elsewhere." Snape sneered as she began to leave.

"Why do you feel the need to avoid me?" He asked though he knew the answer.

"I was not avoiding you. I am tired and it is well past my bed time."

"We both know that's a lie. You appear as though you've already been to bed. Was it yours or were you just looking for some light reading on your way back from Mr. Potter's chambers?" he jabbed, feeling jealous at what his own words implied she had been doing. Her eyes flamed with anger at his comment.

"What did I ever do to you?" she said in a deadly tone.

"Excuse me?" he played dumb.

"You heard me. What did I do that has made it your personal mission to make my life miserable?"

"I have done no such thing."

"This blissfully unaware act is getting old Snape." She growled with as much disrespect as she could muster. "Why did you attack me?" Snape flinched.

"I saw Pettigrew's slimy face turning the corner and in my haste I misfired." 'Way to keep your lies straight' he thought. 'At least it was only a half lie, I did see Pettigrew and dispose of him as I had long wanted to.' He did his best to look impassive as she eyed him suspiciously.

"You never misfire. I didn't even see him."

"Well though it pains me to admit it, and I never will in public again, I did."

"Then why didn't you revive me?" she asked.

"It was not for lack of trying. I dealt with Pettigrew, and then returned to you. You were bleeding profusely from the head, I took you into my classroom healed you ad attempted to revive you to no avail. So I gave you a healing potion saw to your comfort and left to help the others."

"And then what happened?" she asked curiously.

"What do you want to know, the order in which I engaged and defeated my opponents, or how many of my former students I tried and ultimately failed to protect?" he barked. The guilt of his lies was making him sick and now she wished to open up the yet unhealed wounds he refused to show from that night.

"I wanted to know what I missed while I was out cold in your classroom." she said on the verge of tears. Snape was sick with himself. This was entirely his fault; he may have saved them with his actions, but his decision to lie regarding Hermione's "accident" was becoming too difficult to bear.

"By the time I reached the Great Hall the fight had moved onto the grounds of the school. I noticed the Death Eaters splitting up to find the children's hiding places and pursued them one by one. After I had...dealt...with them, I headed for the quidditch pitch to aid in the fight. I saw Potter and about 12 other people shoot the killing curse at Voldemort, felling him to the ground. I and the Death Eaters simultaneously fell to the ground, as our dark marks burned greater than ever before. It was silent for what felt like hours, everyone stopped, shocked at what had happened. Then in the space of a few more seconds the Aurors had every living Death Eater, myself included, bound. They took us all straight to Azkaban. The rest has little relevance to what you are asking about; you probably heard all the sordid details in _The Daily Prophet_ anyway."

Hermione didn't know what to think. She found it hard to believe but seeing as Peter Pettigrew died that night, Professor Snape was the only witness. They remained silent for a few minutes as Hermione contemplated what had just transpired. After warring with herself a little longer she spoke.

"If that's the case then I apologize." Hermione said quietly, guilt rose like bile in Snape's throat.

"Your apology is not necessary. It was I who wronged you. You simply reacted as anyone would." he replied hoping the repressing weight of guilt would lessen. Hermione nodded her head in understanding; she sat back down in her chair and went back to reading her book. His head throbbed and his gut wrenched with guilt. He studied Hermione's dark circles and sallow skin. 'I must have ruined her life, she looks ill... she looks like Me.' he thought. 'She must wear glamours by day.'

"Why do you wonder the halls at night?" he asked aloud, Hermione jumped at the noise.

"Why do you?" she asked in response. Snape sneered and he prepared to make a snide comment but what came out in its place was not what he had expected.

"One cannot live life as I have and not be visited by the ghosts of his past." Snape sat stunned at himself, had he really just said that. Apparently he had because she stared at him with misty eyes.

"You needn't have lived a violent life to be haunted by its ghosts." she whispered, standing up. "I have to go." she said crying silently. She began to walk away but stopped at the library door. "Thank you," she said over her shoulder. "Thank you for giving me what no one else bothered to do, a memory." She walked out leaving Snape alone with his guilt.

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Oh no what will Snape do? hehe. I haven't written the next chapter but I have the full intention of doing it tomorrow to post it on Wednesday. As always I love to hear your feedback, so please review.


	11. Drunky monkeys

Grovels upon her knees I had horrible Writers block but I've made this chapter longer then expected to make up for it. Thank you for the reviews.

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"I know a clan of gingerbread man, here a man, there a man lots of gingerbread man. Take a couple if you wish there on the dish." Hermione laughed as she sipped on a butterbeer, watching the seventh years cavorting about in the Three Broomsticks. Harry was up dancing with them as they sang loud and clear. "You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world. I'll give you anything everything if you want things." He sang loudly, out of tune. As the song ended he flopped down drunkenly into the booth beside Hermione.

"How's my best girl?" he said into her ear.

"Harry you're smashed." she sighed exasperated. He shrugged at her statement and placed his hand on her thigh, slowly crawling upwards. "Harry, you're a professor you have to make an example."

"I am," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really Harry quit being such a puerile dipsomaniac." He looked at her curiously.

"Why the big words 'Mione, no one knows what it means anyways? Are you a little...flustered?" he questioned, scooting closer and closer. Hermione looked around worriedly, most of the children had left, only a few fun loving seventh years lingered. He wrapped his arm around her waist and nuzzled into her neck. She kept protesting, annoyed at his drunkenness, but unwilling to hex him properly when he really wasn't about himself.

"I believe that Professor Granger has requested you leave her alone." a voice said out of nowhere. Hermione jumped as she noticed Professor Snape's commanding presence. Harry maintained his hold on Hermione but turned to face the voice.

"Sod off Snape." he slurred.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. Professor Snape's eyes narrowed in their usual way when he prepared to attack.

"I know your upbringing was not up to the...highest of standards. However, as horrid as your muggle caretakers may have been, one would think they would have had the soundness of mind to teach their charge the proper decorum for dealing with a lady. No I must ask you to leave Professor Granger be or face the consequences."

"Look Snivellus," Hermione flinched, he could be such an angry drunk. "Professor Granger and I are on a date and so if you would be so kind as to mind your own bloody business." Harry smirked, and Hermione was bright red in a mixture of anger embarrassment and frustration. Snape was seething clutching his wand in his pocket, but knew better than to engage him here. "Go on then," Harry laughed. "I've had enough of the hypocrite dishing out lessons on manners."

Hermione stood abruptly. "Move," she barked at Harry, he slowly began to move. "I said move. I'm through with this, get out of my way Potter."

Hermione left the booth and made for the door. "DON'T follow me Potter; I don't want to see hide nor hair of you until you stop acting like a child." She left in a huff, blushing furiously at what had just happened. She had avoided Snape since the conversation in the library which had been a month ago. It was now late fall and the cold of winter was seeping into the air reminding her of the approaching season. She paused on the path up to Hogwarts staring at the castle, ignoring the cold. 'He was being...nice... chivalrous... I am so confused' she thought. For the past month, she had pondered the Potions Master and had come to no conclusion other than that he didn't deserve her blind hatred. She was summoned from her reverie by the sound of a branch cracking under foot. Believing it to be Harry she drew her wand and pointed it towards the sound.

"Harry just go away now, and save yourself the loss of hair and varied appendages."

Snape emerged from the darkness laughing quietly and carrying Hermione's cloak. "Trouble in paradise?" he smirked, Hermione sighed in frustration.

"Do you intentionally undermine yourself? Or is the thought of someone feeling anything other than annoyance and dislike for you detestable?"

"The latter." he said in a manner that reminded Hermione shockingly of joking. "I apologize. It is in my nature to prey on weak moments."

"It's alright," she sighed. "Thank you, by the way, for dealing with Harry. I'm sorry he was such a prat back there."

"Mr. Potter is a grown man you needn't apologize for him."

"But he is a drunken idiot." Snape laughed, approaching Hermione from behind. She felt the warmth of her cloak as he settled it on her shoulders. "Thank you, it's so odd to hear you laugh." she slapped her hand over her mouth, shocked at her brazen statement.

"I so rarely have the inclination to laugh."

"Yet you find quarreling friends amusing?"

"Only you and Mr. Potter." he remarked.

"What happened to him anyway? Not that it matters or anything." she asked.

"He is sleeping off his misdeeds in one of Madame Rosmerta's rooms. She didn't want to see him do himself anymore damage." Hermione nodded and they seemed to simultaneously decide to begin walking again. They fell into an easy conversation about Potions and Hermione smiled inwardly at the way he engaged her mind. They quickly reached the front steps of Hogwarts and were so enthralled in their conversation that he followed her all the way up to Gryffindor Tower. Snape being taller then Hermione took the lead as they scaled the steps, Hermione watched with interest the way his muscles undulated beneath his robe as he walked. Her loss of sense momentarily caused her to step on her own robes, successfully causing her to fall UP the stairs. Snape spun about at her yelp and caught her just before she could make contact with the stone floor.

"Do be more careful Professor." he smirked, as he helped her right herself. He noticed her blush prettily as he stared her down. They arrived at Hermione's chambers and stopped to bid each other farewell. Jannes stared at the couple in shock.

"This was nice, Harry's drunk display aside. If you ever wanted to discuss Potions or anything else again," Hermione blushed trailing off.

"Indeed," Professor Snape replied. "Good evening Professor Granger."

"Please, it's Hermione." she smiled and whispered her password and waved a farewell before the portrait swung shut.

"Good evening Hermione." he whispered, ignoring Jannes who was opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"You...it's you." he breathed.

"Schliessen Sie sein Mund." Snape spat at the portrait before spinning about in a billow of robes and walking off.

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The next morning Hermione arrived at breakfast smiling widely, she had spent the night thinking about her new found friendship. 'He's so like me in so many ways, yet infinitely different.' she thought as she walked into the Great Hall. As she walked down the aisle all eyes drifted to her, then up to Harry's empty spot and over to Snape who scowled back at them. She arrived at the table and sat down immediately looking to Snape for an explanation.

"The rumour mulling about Slytherin this morning was that Harry attempted to have his way with you and I stepped in thus saving your virtue. In the time that I have been in the hall for breakfast, I have overheard that the rumour now includes the walk home and how I escorted you to your chambers and then alleviated you of said virtue." he said angrily.

"That would explain the death glares coming from your seventh years."

"It would seem so. They must have fancied themselves to be the ravager." He said as he pushed pieces of bacon about his plate. Hermione let her hair hang in her face to hide her blush at the idea of being ravaged by anyone, let alone Snape. She busied herself eating breakfast looking up occasionally waiting for Harry's return. It didn't happen during breakfast, or for the rest of the day, for which Hermione was grateful. In fact Harry avoided her up through the middle of December and Hermione felt guilty at how happy she was to be left alone. Every night after curfew or her rounds she would go to the library, she and Snape would talk for hours about students, potions, transfiguration, and magic in general. Hermione was awakened to every move however miniscule that Snape made. She thrilled in the finesse of his hands and the smooth movements that only an ex-spy would have, in the space of two weeks she had gone from denying her attraction to accepting it fully.

"Severus," she began, using the familiar term he had asked her to use. "I received a few books and transcripts from a friend in America, Andrea Thurgood, she is working on revising Wolfsbane Potion."

"Yes I know." he replied as he scanned over a third year essay he brought to the library.

"I was wondering if you would like to join me in my chambers tomorrow to look over the materials and see if there is any input to give her that I might have overlooked." Severus eyed her cautiously for a moment, looking at her rosy cheeks and her healthier features.

"Certainly, it would be a pleasure." he replied giving her an actually smile.

"Wonderful," she smiled, hoping up from her seat. "I must be going it's time for my rounds, see you at seven tomorrow." she said before walking up to him and kissing him gently on the cheek. She ran off, realizing what she had done too late to stop it. Severus sat in his chair, his hand to his face utterly shocked.

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Please let me know what you think your reviews are my writing life blood. Gotta go I'm going to be late for work!


	12. Misery

Hurray I managed to update fairly soon! I'm glad I could get this too you so soon, of course there will probably be a pause now, cause I kinda sorta didn't do other work I need to do for class in favor of updating.

Thank you for your reviews. Oh and to answer a question "Schliessen Sie sein Mund" roughly translates to "Shut Your Mouth" the implications of that interaction though, you will have to ponder.

And in case you were wondering the song at the beginning of the last chapter is from the song "Bike" from Piper at the Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd. I thought it would fit well into the world of Potter.

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Hermione stared at her reflection in the mirror, alternately pulling her hair up and letting it down, gauging what was best. It was 630 and Severus was due to arrive soon, Hermione's heart was beating abnormally fast as she checked the clock every few seconds willing it to go faster. In their short period of friendship they had not yet had an officially arranged meeting, they met every night in the library but it was always just a silent understanding. She sighed heavily before putting her hair up in a twist, and then headed over to her wardrobe. She took out one of her nicer robes in a wonderful shade of Kelly green. "I want to look nice, not desperate." she mumbled as she situated herself into the robe's plunging neckline. She contemplated makeup but figured that might be a bit too much.

"Get a hold of yourself old girl." she chastised as her mind flitted to the thought that this would be her first "date" since her short lived romance with Ernie MacMillan in the beginning of seventh year. Thinking of Ernie gave her pause, he and Hannah had just married before the final battle, and she felt herself tear up but shook her head to force out the thought. She glanced at the clock; it read 6:45, her heart leapt once more. "He's only here under false pretenses, it isn't a date." she repeated.

She was drawn out of her reverie by a harsh knocking at her door. She double checked the clock, surprised that Severus "Punctuality Incarnate" Snape would arrive fifteen minutes early. She hurried to the door, trying to suppress her outright grin, and opened it.

"Harry!" she said shocked to see him.

"Hermione, before you say anything," he paused looking around the hallway. "Can we take this away from prying eyes?" She grudgingly relented letting him through.

"Hermione, I was a drunken git that night. What I did to you was inappropriate, especially in public. Please forgive me."

"Is there anything else you like to say?" she asked crossing her arms defensively.

"Just that I was overly drunk and made some stupid mistakes." he sighed. "What else should I apologize to you for?"

"Not me Harry, Severus." she blushed when she realized the familiar term she used in regards to Professor Snape.

"Oh it's Severus now is it? Hermione, just about five months ago he was the greasy git, the bat of the dungeons."

"He was never those things to me. I disliked him greatly but our misunderstanding has been sorted and now..."

"And now what? You're friends? What about me, Hermione? I was there when Ron died, I picked up the pieces over this past year, and I get nothing. Then all he has to do is waltz in, say 'I'm terribly sorry Miss Granger," he said in a mocking way. "And you fall head over heels. You spend all your time with him, completely dropping me." Hermione glared at him, did he think she was a prize to be won.

"Harry I was mad at you. I avoided you in hopes that you would come to me and apologize. I did not befriend Professor Snape till the night you treated me with disrespect I did not believe you to be capable of."

"Sure Hermione that's why you two have met secretly since the beginning of the semester. You even ran to him after you turned me down in the Astronomy tower. I bet you're going to see him now for a bit of how's you father. That's why you're all tarted up, isn't it?"

"Get out." she scowled, her body consumed with anger. "You will NEVER make such assumptions about me again." Hermione waved her hand at the door and it opened. "Out." she pointed to the door. Harry pulled his robes about him and left. Hermione followed him to the door and collapsed in the door frame sobbing. She felt arms scoop her up and made to struggle but the arms were to strong.

"Miss Granger, what happened, please calm down." Without thinking he went straight through the open door into her bedroom. He laid her on the bed and went to the bathroom to gather a wet flannel. He returned and sat beside her on the bed wiping her face clean. "Come now, what happened?"

Hermione blubbered and cried her way through what happened. Snape sat quietly, bothered by her tears but knowing that they would stop sooner if he let the woman say what she needed to say. In her fit of tears she curled into Severus' side, feeling the need to be held.

Snape stared at the crying mass of curls presently attached to his side. His first reaction was to push her away, but the primal part of him that loved the intimacy of touch caused him to hold her closer enfolding her in his arms. Eventually her tears turned into dry sobs which downgraded into occasional hiccups until they ceased entirely.

She lifted her head from his shoulder, her face mere inches from his. Severs stared into Hermione's honey brown eyes warring internally with the guilt he felt. Hermione misread his intense gaze in the silence and leaned her head forward gently closing her eyes. Their noses bumped causing Hermione to giggle softly, but he remained undeterred. Severus remained completely still, he felt excited and frightened, two emotions he rarely dealt with. Their lips met tentatively as if allowing the other the option of escape. Rather then pull apart Hermione placed her hands in Severus' hair drawing him into the fiery passion of their kiss. After a few minutes of kissing Severus felt Hermione brush her tongue ever so lightly along his bottom lip. The action shocked him into reality, and the flood gates of guilt burst open.

"Hermione we must stop." he murmured into her lips.

"Why?" she asked, feeling as though her body was truly awakened for the first time in years, if ever. Severus stood putting a distance between them as he wrestled with his guilt and intense need. "Do you not want me?" The blood rushed from his head as her processed her statement, 'Does Minerva like tartan?' he thought staring at her as she reclined on the bed, and it was all too tempting. 'Well now's not the time to stop lying.'

"I feel it would be best to take things at a slow pace, we have after all only been friends for a few weeks." Hermione looked quite dejected, but he stayed his course and walked out of her bedroom. "Now where are those notes you were speaking of?"

Much to Severus' pleasure she immediately perked up, rising out of the bed and following him to the fireplace by way of her desk. They worked for hours discussing the high points and low points of Andrea's research. Hermione took copious notes, thrilled to bear witness to Severus' brilliant mind. At one in the morning Severus stood up stretching out his tired back. "I do believe I should be going now it's rather late."

Hermione nodded sleepily, and then rose to see him to the door. "Goodnight Severus." she said in a way that, combined with her sleepy smile, made her look absolutely kissable. He nodded curtly and turned to leave, then stopped looking her deeply in the eyes before sweeping her into his arms kissing her breathless. He broke the kiss abruptly then after another nod he left for his chambers. As the portrait shut she slumped against the wall smiling dreamily.

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Well there it is, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think! 


	13. I was provoked, I swear

I'm sorry it took so long to update, I just had my three year anniversary with my boyfriend, plus a lot of workto do, but I had to get this post up before I went to work cause I couldn't keep you waiting any longer.

Thank you all so much for the reviews, I'm thrilled that it's getting such a wonderful response.

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Monday morning rolled around all too soon and Hermione felt physically ill. She would be forced to sit next to Harry at the head table, though hopefully if he even showed up at breakfast he wouldn't make a scene. She sat pushing her food around her plate scared of what might happen. Severus had yet to arrive, which upon consideration was probably a good thing. He had made it quite clear last night as they kept their usual companionship in the library that Harry needed to be put into his place. It scared Hermione to think of what Severus might do. 'I don't REALLY know this man and he WAS a Death Eater.' she thought as her eyes flitted about the room.

Thankfully the gossip mill had moved on for the most part. Emma Entwhilste, a muggleborn Hufflepuff seventh year, and Clarke Marcel, a seventh year Slytherin and soul heir to one of the most openly anti-muggle family in France, were now the talk of Hogwarts. Being caught in the Greenhouses with your pants seemed to be far more scandalous then the speculations about boring old professors. Even the professors talked in hushed tones about the bizarre match up and the amusing way in which they were found by Professor Sprout. Hermione ignored them, not wanting to indulge in the childishness she was witnessing. Glancing up she noticed Harry as he entered the Hall wearing a scowl that could have rivaled Snape's on his best day. He grudgingly sat beside Hermione, saying not a word.

"Severus is very late today." Professor Sprout commented. "I wonder if he is feeling well."

"I'm certain that if he were in fact unwell he would have gone to Poppy." Professor Flitwick replied.

"I don't know, he is a rather stubborn creature." Poppy said from overtop her medical journal.

"Well I don't believe there is a potion for those who are shagged out." Harry slipped in the double entendre maliciously and Hermione blushed in spite of herself. Madame Hooch perked up suddenly.

"No! I can't believe Ol' Sevvie's back in the saddle. I'm surprised someone would put up with him, he can be so difficult."

"Maybe he's a real puppy dog if you know how to treat him." Professor Sprout chuckled.

"Severus? A puppy dog? A Rottweiler maybe, but no puppy." Madame Hooch laughed.

"Maybe," Hermione spoke up. "We shouldn't talk about him behind his back." The professors were shocked silent by Hermione's comment. Minerva smirked knowingly, she was headmistress after all, and everything that happened in her castle. The professors returned to their private conversations and moments later Professor Snape swooped into the Hall, a few of the professors sniggered as he took his seat. Severus glared at them before sitting down next to Hermione as though nothing happened. He said nothing, as she had expected, but he glanced at her warmly for a moment. She smiled back feeling surprisingly happy.

"So Severus," Madame Hooch began, stifling a laugh. "Anything new going on in your life?" Severus' face betrayed nothing except the anger he felt at having his breakfast disturbed.

"Nothing that is of any importance to you Madame, I'm sure." he replied curtly.

"Oh I'm sure. So how is she?" Madame Hooch continued to press.

"Madame Hooch, I would advise you to spot sniffing whatever quidditch cleaning supply you have been abusing. There is no 'she' as you so put it." Severus replied. refusing to be bated into something he wasn't prepared for. Harry turned bright red, fuming at his reply.

"See, you're nothing to him." Harry whispered into Hermione's ear. "Look what you lost, to be with a man who doesn't want you." Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears; she stood up quickly spilling her tea all over Harry's robes. Hurrying out the door she heard the students laugh at her as she passed. She rushed to her classroom casting a spell to write a reading assignment on the board and another to alert her if her first years were out of line. She then hurried into her office locking and warding the door. She collapsed on the floor and sobbed, as she cried she contemplated how she had messed up her life. Her only remaining best friend hated her and though she knew better than to believe it, his comments stung. 'He would have revealed it eventually, it has only been two days and he's a private man.' she told herself, her thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of her wards being lowered. She stood and drew her wand, ready to hex whoever dared to invade her privacy. The door clicked as it was unlocked and she shot the first hex she could think of at the entering intruder.

"_Protego._" Severus said easily blocking her hex before wordlessly rewarding the door. "Professor Granger, it is not the best idea to hex first and ask questions later."

"Sod off Snape." she spat angrily, surprisingly his expression softened.

"Hermione are we back to being enemies now?" Hermione remained silent, walking to put distance between them.

"No," she sighed, seating herself on top of her desk. "Harry just...he was bating me and I played into his hands. I made a fool of myself in front of the children, they laughed at me..."

"They weren't laughing at you." Severus commented.

"What?"

"The Potters are not the only ones who know embarrassing hexes." he said silkily, Hermione's jaw dropped.

"You didn't." she stated in shock.

"No nothing quite as horrible as the memory to which I'm sure you are referring, however he does look quite funny trying to run with a chair stuck to his rear." Hermione laughed loudly, before slapping her hand over her mouth. Severus smirked, "Tisk tisk Miss Granger, laughing at the pain of others. How very Slytherin of you."

As he spoke he traversed the space between them and kissed her soundly on the lips. Hermione tried to protest, there was so much she wanted to discuss, but his warm lips against hers were too tempting. She gave in, wrapping her arms around his neck. As he began to lay her back on to the desk they were interrupted by the small sound of the floo activating.

"Hermione! Severus!" the voice exclaimed, before promptly collapsing to the floor.

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There you go, it's a fairly lame cliffhanger but I am once again going to be racing to get to work on time. I really need to schedule my time better. Oh well, please let me know what you thought about the chapter, you're reviews are my ambrosia. hehehe 


	14. Visitation

I kneel humbly at the feet of my readers, I have had the past seven days from hell that have kept me from updating, headaches, stomach flu, minor emergencies at school. But on the plus side I should be able to graduate as planned and it is for that reason that I am happy to bring to you the next installment of Underneath. Enjoy.

Oh yes and many, many thanks to my reviewers, they helped me to smile these past few days.

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"For the love of Merlin woman, what possessed you to not restrict your fireplace to block unauthorized entries?" Severus bellowed.

"Well I hardly expected to 'entertain' male company in my office ever, let alone in the middle of the day." Hermione rebutted.

"Well now she knows, and everyone will know by the end of the day, IF she stays knocked out for the next few hours!" he said angrily. "I still think she ought to be obliviated." he said staring at the unconscious body lying on the newly transfigured couch.

"For the last time Severus no!" Hermione said turning on him. "No go get a reviving potion from your stores, use the Floo." Hermione sat down on the edge of the couch and stroked the unconscious bodies red hair gently. As she did the body moved and opened her eyes slowly.

"Oh dear, Hermione, what happened? I could have sworn I saw Severus and you..." She stopped and blushed slightly. "Well that's just silly now isn't it? You must forgive me dear I must be losing it in my old age." she babbled on.

"You did Molly." Hermione said softly.

"Cause why would you be in your office with Professor Snape snog... Pardon me dear?" She stopped upon realizing Hermione had spoken.

"I said 'you did Molly'. He just left a moment ago to get you a potion." Hermione turned crimson. She felt as she had imagined she would have felt if her mum had ever caught her snogging in her bedroom as a teen. Molly's jaw hit the proverbial floor.

"You hated him, after the war... you despised him because he kept you from fighting..."

"We had a grave misunderstanding regarding that night, but we discussed it and it has been cleared up. We're friends now, I guess." Molly smiled knowingly.

"Arthur and I were 'friends' when we used to kiss that way." she laughed. Hermione blushed once more.

"That's just it Molly, and I'm utterly confused. It's far too soon to say but I've never felt this way about someone before." As Hermione spoke Severus popped through the fireplace, she sincerely hoped he hadn't heard anything.

"Well I suppose my potion is no longer necessary." Severus spoke, with his hair draped before his face hiding its slightly pink flush.

"Yes I don't suppose that it's necessary anymore, but please do sit down." Molly strode over to Severus, pulling him over to the couch, causing him to plop down unceremoniously next to Hermione. Molly proceeded to sit on the chair beside the couch. "I'm sure you'd like to know why I'm here." she paused only for a breath. "Minerva flooed me saying that you were in quite a state, so I immediately came up here. Minerva thought there'd be no harm in letting me floo right through. By the way sorry if I...err... interrupted anything." Molly was out of sorts and that disconcerted Hermione. They sat in silence for nearly a minute until Molly stood. "Well, I'll just be going now."

"Molly," Hermione started.

"No it's alright. I'll see you over the hols dear. I'm glad to see you're doing better, you look so healthy." she said kissing Hermione on the cheek. Severus' eyes darkened at the mention of Hermione's health. "And don't worry I'll keep your secret, both of them." she ended in a whisper by Hermione's ear. Molly took two steps to where Severus stood beside the fireplace and hugged him tightly, much to Hermione's amusement, she then flooed back to Minerva's office.

* * *

"That was quick. Is Hermione all right?" Minerva asked, peering over her square rims at Molly's soot covered face.

"Yes she's quite alright." Molly blushed.

"Did someone beat you to the chase?" Minerva asked as she walked over to the fireplace.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that." Molly tried to be vague.

"Would you like to stay for lunch?" Minerva asked.

"Oh no, Bill and his family are arriving for the holidays today and Fred and George are home as well. I'd like to spend some time with my children while I can." Molly said drifting towards tears. Minerva wrapped her arms about Molly gently.

"I'm sure your children would never want to see you suffer like this."

"I know and it really doesn't hurt as much as it used to. It's just with it being Christmas and all."

"Speaking of which," Minerva started. "I would like for you and your family to join us at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays. I have already arranged for quarters for you all."

"Minerva we couldn't impose."

"You can and you will. Last Christmas was practically forgotten, I would like this year to be as joyful as it has in years past."

"If you insist."

"Wonderful, I'll expect you and your family no later than the 23rd." Molly nodded then left through the floo Minerva had activated.

* * *

The last week of classes progressed at a painfully slow rate. Harry only spoke to Hermione when necessary and though she was displeased with him, she missed their camaraderie. Each meal passed in painstaking silence. Harry played the part of jilted lover to a tee and Severus acted as though nothing had changed. So Hermione was left between the two living stone statuaries, reading a book to pass the time.

Minerva was all in a tizzy over creating the perfect Christmas, rivaling Dumbledore with all her twinkling and unrelenting optimism. The halls were decorated like never before and the day to day appearance of the Great Hall reminded Hermione of the way it looked during the Yule Ball.

After the students left on the train the final morning, Hermione hurried down to the dungeons to speak with Severus. She arrived at his chambers and knocked loudly.

"I said leave me alone, you pathetic useless lump of..." Severus stopped mid-tirade when he met eyes with Hermione.

"I'll just go." Hermione whispered.

"Don't be stupid," He snapped. "Come in." Hermione didn't move. "Well come on then." he repeated taking Hermione by the elbow and dragging her inside. "Well?"

"Who did you think was at your door?" she asked.

"I'm certain that is not why your here." Severus responded coolly, leaving Hermione at the door as he moved into his sitting room. Hermione looked around; this was her first good glimpse at his chambers. "Did you come for the tour?"

"Who did you think was at the door, it's a simple question." she goaded him lightly.

"One that I don't intend to answer, now why are you here?" Severus sighed, far too annoyed with previous events to deal with her nosey tendencies.

"Never mind then, I'll go to Hogsmeade by myself." equally annoyed with his stubbornness. She turned around and made to leave but the door was warded, she kicked at it and cursed as she hurt her toe. "Let me out!"

"Temper, temper." Severus smirked as he walked back to the door. "I'll let you go, but only if you agree to join me for dinner."

Hermione sighed loudly. "You are such a difficult, snarky.."

"Greasy bat of the dungeons, yes I know." Severus interrupted. "Be ready at 6:30, I will come by your chambers to retrieve you." he unwarded the door, and then opened it for Hermione. "Oh Hermione," he called as she headed down the hall. "Wear something green." he smiled evilly to himself as he noticed Hermione scowl, before walking away.

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Thank you oh so much for reading my story. I will try my hardest to have an update by next Tuesday at the latest. Please let me know how you feel about the story, the update, the weather, whatever. 


	15. Date night

Goodness Gracious, I am very sorry I didn't get to update when I said I would. Graduating is turning into the bane of my existence. Thank you all for your reviews, hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Severus stood in the shadows of the hallway outside Hermione's chambers at 6:25 contemplating his current situation. His mind had seemed to have split in two a notion that reminded him vaguely of a day many many years ago. They were visiting his father's muggle parents and the second thing to happen, after the cheek pinching and slobbery kisses from his grandmother, was the direction to sit in front of what he now knew to be called a television to watch a "cartoon" while the "big people talked." A moronic hunter was chasing a grey rabbit and at one point a devil appeared on one of the hunter's shoulders and an angel on the other, trying to influence said hunter.

At this moment he could easily see himself in that position, a cherub on one shoulder pleading for truth and kindness, and a devil on the other whispering the seeds of deceit and underhandedness. 'You always have to manipulate people don't you? You couldn't have just told her the truth, the WHOLE truth.' the angel argued.

'She'll never forgive you, you pathetic liar.' the devil whispered.

'What truly happened was not that horrible, she will forgive you.'

'She would have, if you had been forthright in the first place. Not now though, no she'll never forgive you now. You're better off if you keep on lying.'

'She will be angry at first, but she might...'

"Enough!" he yelled to the empty hallway. A few of the nearby portraits grumbled in annoyance before drifting back to sleep.

"You are an evil man." Jannes called from his portrait. Severus glared at Jannes as he approached.

"You don't even know me." he said with cool contempt.

"Oh but I do." Jannes replied, standing in the front of his portrait putting on an intimidating facade. "You found my portrait; you brought me to this castle."

"I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about. Is Professor Granger in?"

"Ich wiess nicht." Jannes played dumb. Severus ran his fingers through his hair and breathed a sigh.

"I am here to pick up Professor Granger, I know she is in her quarters, now go get her."

"Not until you tell the truth." Severus cringed inwardly, if only the stupid portrait could understand the depth of meaning in what he just said.

"The truth is that I don't know you, now if you would..." Severus was cut off by the portrait swinging open. Hermione came out of the portrait hole wearing emerald green dress robes, her hair cascading down her back in silky curls. He stared silently for a few moments before catching himself and offering Hermione his arm.

"Where will we be going?" Hermione asked as they made their way off the school grounds. "Madame Puddifoots?"

"Merlin no." Severus scoffed pulling a disgusted face. "Just follow me."

He led her down to Hogsmeade and into the Three Broomsticks. Madame Rosmerta smiled at the couple gesturing to the stairwell in the corner. Severus nodded his head to her then led Hermione up the stairs. The first door in the hall was open and inside was a table set for two. As they sat down food appeared on the table, in the corner an enchanted violin played softly.

"This is wonderful Severus, thank you."

"It was nothing, just a favor from a friend." They fell into silence as they ate. Hermione felt as though her heart should thud out of her chest, she was on a date, a date with Snape.

"I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier." Severus' voice broke the silence so abruptly that Hermione jumped; dropping her spoon in the chocolate mousse they ate for dessert.

"Oh, it's alright really, you were just annoyed with whoever came by before me."

"No Hermione, it was not proper for me. I do not apologize often; please do not mock me by dismissing it." The corners of Hermione's mouth dropped in disappointment. They once again lulled to silence. They stayed in silence as they left the Three Broomsticks and walked back to the castle. As they entered the gates onto Hogwarts' grounds Severus stilled her movements by grasping her arm. Hermione turned to face him.

"It was Potter."

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked, confused.

"Potter was the person who I thought was returning to my door." he paused. "He came to confront me, for making you cry, for taking you from him, and a variety of other things that were beyond my control that he felt the need to blame me for."

"Oh." Hermione whispered. They stood in silence for a few more minutes, looking into each others eyes. Hermione then leaned in to Severus' chest holding him about the waist. "Thank you for telling me, I know it's difficult for you to share things, thank you for letting me in." Severus stood in shocked silence, his arms at his side with a smiling young woman latched about his waist. The devil and angel on his shoulder were now in a fist fight, screaming instructions at him simultaneously. He watched in a mix of horror and excitement as Hermione turned her face to his, rising up onto her tip toes, asking him silently to kiss her. He leaned down inches from her face and then kissed her gently.

"Hermione, there's something I need to tell you." the devil and angel stopped mid-brawl, he imagined, and stared at him in shock. "Follow me."

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An unintentional cliffhanger, I have a meeting that I must leave for soon. Please review the chapter it keeps me writing when I probably shouldn't be, but I want to finish this story for you all. 


	16. The whole truth and nothing but

Woohoo! I managed an update within a few days of the previous one, with a stomach virus to boot. I really need to cut down on my stress factor cause it's reeking havoc on my health, only a month left though and most of my worries will be dealt with. Thank you all so much for the reviews.

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Severus took Hermione by the arm and led her quietly to the basement. Hermione noted that he seemed visibly nervous something that she had never seen in Severus before. His eyes darted about and she noticed his hand shaking ever so slightly as he raised his free hand up to lower the wards on his private chambers.

For the second time in one day she stood in Severus' chambers taking her time to remember every detail. The tapestry covered walls, the shocking lack of portraits or pictures of any kind, and most interestingly the three walls lined from top to bottom with books. She felt herself salivating and couldn't resist the immediate urge to reach out and touch them. There were so many titles she had longed to read but never been able to, and the temptation of such tomes sitting before her in immaculate order had drawn her away from the real reason she was here. The real reason was presently crouched by the fireplace tending to its burning embers, staring into the golden flames. As he straightened himself to full height, Hermione moved to join him admiring the regal way in which he held himself. She wrapped her arms once again around his slender waist and nibbled lightly on his lower lip as she kissed him, he responded but only half-heartedly, his lack of response did not go unnoticed. Hermione backed away from him just enough to look him in the eyes.

"What's wrong Severus?" Hermione asked, searching his eyes for an answer.

"Please sit down," he said motioning to the sofa, an odd expression settled on his face for a moment as he sat across from her on a high back chair. "Maybe you should give me your wand."

It was Hermione's turn to have an odd expression. "Why should I give you my wand? Severus if you want to break things off with me just tell me, I won't attack you for not feeling the same way for me as I do for you."

"NO!" he said so loudly it made Hermione jump. "No, I don't wish to end our relationship, but I'm afraid what... I don't do this very often. Let me explain. I have only ever done this once before in my life, and that was over twenty years ago. I feel I am bound to...that is... I must make a confession to you." Severus looked incredibly flustered. He stood shakily and walked over to a cabinet in the corner, he opened the bottom drawer drawing out what Hermione immediately knew to be a Pensieve. He brought it to Hermione setting it gently before her. "This is the only way I know how to do this."

Hermione looked at Severus expectantly who stared back it her equally expectant. "Well?"

"Oh yes, it might be better if I stay here, there is only one memory in this Pensieve, I'm sure you know how these work." Hermione nodded slightly before leaning over the Pensieve and being sucked in. Severus sat back in his chair anxiously awaiting her return.

* * *

Hermione arrived beside Severus clad in his Death Eater robes. They were surrounded by the whole of Voldemort's followers and the man himself stood before them speaking privately to Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione nearly collapsed in fear, and took several moments to truly accept that it was only a memory and she was in no danger.

"You will personally be in charge of bringing those three horrible children to me. We must have them all to fulfill the requirements of the rite." Voldemort hissed. Hermione furrowed her brow in thought, the pieces all falling into place in her mind.

"Yes my lord." Bellatrix purred the intimate sound of it made Hermione want to gag. Voldemort then turned to address all of his followers.

"My faithful followers, tonight is the night for which we have been waiting for years. Tonight the "boy-who-lived" will live no more, and a new era will be born. An era of pure-blood supremacy cleansed of mud blood." the Death Eaters cheered, Hermione felt on he brink of tears, was this what he wanted to share? "First we must cleanse our own ranks of the unbelievers and blood traitors."

Hermione's heart nearly stopped. He was bloodied the night of the final battle; she had had to cure him because they had found him out. She watched as Severus was called up to the front, she watched as Voldemort allowed his minions to have their way with him and the others. She cried silently as she watched Severus writhe on the ground, then Draco approached him and she stood there in shock as Severus disappeared and she was pulled to another memory.

Severus hobbled back to the castle, procured his wand and made for the Great Hall; it was then that her memories of the night began to fall in sync with his. The arguing, his wandering eye, the explosion and the running through the halls towards the dungeon. Hermione knew what was coming from every night this past year and kept her eye out for Pettigrew's approach.

"Where are we going? The sound came from the main door." she former self asked.

"I'm keeping you safe."

"Harry needs me!"

"If you go to the main door the Dark Lord will undoubtedly win." Hermione shivered at the new meaning she found in his words.

"You coward, they know you're a traitor and they'll kill you on sight. You just don't want to be the only able bodied fighter to skip out on those who need you."

"You bloody child, sometimes you don't know everything, and sometimes there are things that you will not understand. Now just follow me." She watched as her other self ran in the opposite direction. Severus yelled "_Stupefy_," and Hermione looked beyond her other self expecting to find Pettigrew. She collapsed to the floor realizing that Pettigrew was nowhere to be found, and she cried no longer caring what Severus was doing. She didn't watch as he carefully picked her up and transfigured a bed for her to lie on, and she didn't notice when he leaned over her unconscious body gently pulling a tendril from her face, or the look of guilt in his eyes as he left the room. She felt the pull of the Pensieve bringing her back to the present. Severus stood quickly rushing to her side.

"Hermione I..."

"Why did you lie to me? Why did you think you couldn't just tell me the truth?" Hermione sobbed. "If I had known that night what I know now, you wouldn't have had to attack me. I would have cooperated."

"Don't tell me you believe that. You would have insisted that they needed your help as you have everyday since then. Not everything is within our control, I did what I did, I'm not proud of it, but it accomplished the desired effect." Hermione quickly went from sadness to anger.

"And what was that? Voldemort dead at the cost of one of my best friends? I could have saved him, he would be here."

"Don't be a fool," Severus reacted like a wild animal trapped in a corner. "If I hadn't kept you from the fight, and protected you from being found you would surely have died, either along with Mr. Weasley or in his stead. Voldemort would now rule the world; the sacrifice had to be made. I wish I could take back what happened that night, but only because I hurt you. I am not one who is naturally disposed to feeling guilty, but I have been able to think of nothing else but how I wronged you that night." Hermione thought it might be a trick of the light but she noticed Severus becoming teary eyed.

"What happened after you left me there, I want the truth this time." Hermione whispered. Severus sighed and slowly began to speak.

"I left you there, placing wards and traps as I went to keep you safe. Along the way I ran into Pettigrew sniffing about for the children I have no doubt. I fought him and then searched for other Death Eaters as I had told you before. Just as I said I went outside just in time to witness Voldemort's demise. The Aurors were quick on the uptake for once and bound me where I stood, the Headmistress sought me out in the chaos and I told her where you were then they took me off to Azkaban. I was interrogated for days by Aurors and was not released until my trial when Minerva brought forth evidence proving that Albus had foreknowledge of the Unbreakable Vow I made with Narcissa Malfoy to kill him if Draco could not fulfill his duty. There is nothing else for me to say, I was aware that Voldemort wished to sap the power from Potter, yourself, and Weasley and I couldn't allow it to happen."

Hermione nodded grimly, stood up and made for the door. "I need to be alone for awhile, please don't follow me."

"Hermione,"

"No, Severus please just leave me alone. I don't want to be near you right now." Hermione looked at Severus one last time then walked out the door. Severus walked over to the cabinet and poured himself a generous glass of firewhiskey. He knocked that glass back quickly, then poured another before walking to his bedroom, warding the doors haphazardly as he left. 'That couldn't have gone worse.' he thought 'There was so much I wanted to say, but I don't expect I'll be given the chance now.' He quickly undressed himself and collapsed naked on the bed. After downing the last of his firewhiskey he crawled under the sheets, extinguished the candles with a hand motion, and lay back to attempt to sleep.

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This was a tough one to write and I'm not fully happy with it. There may be a revised version of this chapter eventually, I will let you know. As always I love to hear your reviews, so let me know what you think.


	17. Whaa?

**My darling, wonderful, amazing readers, I must apologize for not updating in such a long time. I graduate in a week and have been doing loads and loads of catch up work, I've been writing but I haven't had the time or the energy to update. I am making the time now and I hope you won't throw too many rotten tomatoes, cabbage, and dead babies at me. ;)**

**As always thank you for all the reviews, a passing look at my reviews is what pushed me to update now.**

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Hermione lay in the middle of the Quidditch pitch idly running her fingers through the soft beautifully groomed grass. She had stopped crying, it hurt her eyes too much to continue any longer, but she lay awake hours after the incident preparing for the beginnings of dawn. The sky as of yet was still dark but the edges of the horizon in the east were tinged a softer shade of purple-blue. The sun would rise in an hour maybe two, bringing with it warmth she was sorely in need of. Hermione didn't care, the cold kept her awake and she would stay up until her body gave out on her.

She watched with infinite patience as the sun slowly raised over top a nearby hill. When the sun was at the point that she surmised would be 9 o'clock she heard a rustling of grass behind her that she knew was not the wind. She drew her wand and pointed it at the intruder.

"What do you want?" She asked, not even looking in the direction her wand was pointed.

"Why did I think I could sneak up on you?" the male voice chuckled wryly. "Have you been out here all night? You must be freezing."

"What do you want Potter?" she croaked, not realizing how dry her throat had become. Harry scowled at her bitter tone and his behavior immediately changed.

"I was sent to find you. Molly and Arthur just arrived with the whole family. They want to see you." Hermione sighed heavily, stood up quickly and swoon immediately from the rush of blood from her head. Harry reacted quickly, swooping Hermione up in his arms.

"Thank you." Hermione said, recovering quickly. "Please put me down."

"Why? Is ol' Sevviekins the jealous type?" Harry smirked, Hermione's jaw dropped.

"Are you still going to be this immature?" Hermione asked. Harry unconsciously began to walk back to the castle with Hermione in his arms. Harry remained thoughtfully silent refusing to answer her. "Are you going to give me the silent treatment now?"

"No." he whispered, climbing the steps up to the castle.

"What?"

"I said no, and you're right I am being immature." Hermione looked at Harry in shock, once again mystified as to how he had become so mature so quickly.

"So are you over all this jilted lover farce?"

"Excuse me but I am not putting on a farce. Hermione you broke me by taking up with that snake and leaving me behind." They entered the castle and headed towards the Great Hall. "You're my best friend, the only true friend I have left."

"Then why did you treat me so cruelly?"

"I was drunk, I made some mistakes."

"You were drunk every single time you made a pass at me? Every time you pushed me into something I didn't want? I think not." She scoffed. Harry stopped before the doors to the Great Hall.

"I thought that you liked me, but you were scared to try. I know I've loved you for years, I still love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

A loud cough interrupted their conversation. Severus stood a body's length away from the two staring holes through Harry. "Shouldn't you two be inside greeting the clan Weasley?"

Hermione, realizing the position they were in, jumped out of Harry's arms and hurried into the Great Hall. They stood for a moment staring at each other with contempt.

"She's not yours you know." Harry broke the silence.

"I never assumed such ownership Potter. I prefer my women to be willing, and she certainly was." Harry clenched his fists at his side trying desperately to not allow himself to be baited by that. Severus applied his best sneer before leaving Harry alone in the hallway seething.

"Bloody, lying, thieving son of a Hippogriff." Harry grumbled, thinking better than to make a scene in front of Mrs. Weasley. She was not above giving out punishments to grown men, related or not. He watched as Hermione greeted each Weasley in turn. As she hugged Fred he goosed her then took advantage of her shock to bend her back for an overly dramatic stage kiss, an act that earned angry scowls from both Harry and Severus.

"Fred Weasley you stop that this instant." Molly chastised while the rest of the Weasley's laughed.

"What Mum? When I see a woman as pretty as Hermione, I've got to get in a good snog." he wiggled his eyebrows lecherously in Hermione's direction.

"Well enough of this for now," said Minerva who had until then been silent. "Let's have breakfast." A table big enough for the staff, remaining students and Hogwarts guests had been set up in the center of the hall. Its design was an expansion on the ice castle theme that the hall embodied with linens that twinkled like icicles.

"Why you've gone all out Minerva." Mr. Weasley smiled as he took his seat.

"Anything to make this holiday truly special." Minerva smiled. Severus sat beside Minerva wishing he were anywhere else but in this place.

"So Hermione how have things been since I last saw you?" Mrs. Weasley asked, smiling knowingly. Hermione looked slightly frantic.

"Oh, you know, teaching...it's...uh been interesting." Hermione offered lamely. Harry scoffed at her words. Arthur being thoroughly in the dark on the issue spoke up.

"Really Hermione, do tell."

"Oh well umm..." Hermione stuttered, grabbing frantically for a coherent thought.

"We're together." everyone gasped and Hermione dropped her cup in shock as a voice rang out over Hermione's failed attempts to speak.

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**I didn't want to end it here, but I need to rewrite the upcoming section. I apologize dearly for leaving you with such a cliffy. I will sincerely try to update later this week but I have two big finals and a paper to write plus the excitement of graduating over the weekend. If I don't do it this week I promise to update by the end of next week.**

**Please let me know what you think.**


	18. Can't Stop

As one of my reviews said, it's been a really long two weeks. Well it has graduating and starting my new job took up a lot of time. Also, yippee skippy, I'm engaged! So I've been one my own little cloud for quite sometime now. You can thank my fiancé for getting me to start writing again; he encouraged me to dig this back up and keep going on it.

This would have been up yesterday but fanfiction wouldn't let me log on. So I'm popping this up on the net before embarking on my entire day and evening of working. Blast having two jobs!

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Thank you to all my readers, I'm happy to be able to entertain you.

"What?" Hermione yelped.

"I think it's alright to tell them 'Mione." Harry replied. Severus' eyes darkened.

"What are you playing at?" Hermione whispered furiously.

"I'm saving your neck." Harry replied. "We just made it official before coming in for breakfast." Hermione gaped at Harry like a fish. All the while Severus sat fuming, feeling like a fool. How long had those two been together? As Harry pushed an errant back behind a silent Hermione's ear, Severus pushed his chair back with a horrible screech before quitting the room.

"He's probably as grossed out by the idea of them together as we are." George laughed.

"Be quiet Fred."

"George, Mum." He corrected.

"Whatever," she dismissed feeling absolutely horrid for putting Hermione in this position. Fred and George stared at one another in disbelief at their mother's actions. They were obviously missing some part of the equation.

"Well Bill, how has your new job been?" Minerva easily redirected the conversation away from Hermione and Harry who were speaking in angry, hushed tones.

* * *

Severus slammed his bedroom door shut in a fury, not that it made him feel better. Last night he stayed awake formulating a plan to woo Hermione back into his life and now…

"She probably ran off to Potter for 'comfort,' the little tart." He was so furious that he spat as he talked. He grabbed the nearly full bottle of firewhiskey on his fireplace and drained it as fast as his body would accept it. "How long has she led me on, pitying the poor old man, showing the miserable sod affection, and then running off to 'cleanse' herself with young Potter?" He opened his wardrobe, fumbled around in the drawers and pulled out a bottle of brandy that Albus had given him twenty years ago. He had intended to save it for an extremely special occasion, perhaps when he gathered up the intestinal fortitude to propose to Hermione, had their relationship been allowed to grow and progress.

However just like everything in his life, the simple joys and natural yearnings were denied to him. Severus cracked the seal and took a draught directly from the bottle.

"Damn Potters, always getting everything they want." Severus continued to drink from the bottle, hardly noticing its taste. "Damn me for being weak."

Eventually the alcohol caused him to pass out on the cold stone floor beside the wardrobe, too drunk to bother with a chair.

When Severus awoke he was bleary eyed and his head felt like it was being stomped on by an ogre. "Hermione?" He croaked at the figure pulling him up off the ground and on to the bed. The person laughed a deep male laugh.

"I've been mistaken for a girl before, but never a curly brown haired one." Severus rolled his eyes, 'of all the people why him.' "McGonagall sent me down here to check on you, she figured you might prefer to talk to a man."

"She hasn't seen me for what, five hours, it must be dinnertime." Severus dismissed shutting his eyes to relieve the pain.

"Yeah, of the next day." Bill laughed, Severus flinched at the sound. "Here take this." Severus took the proffered phial, and after sniffing its contents suspiciously, swallowed it in one gulp. He visibly relaxed as the pain relief potion worked its course. "So what sort of thing could drive a man to drink an entire bottle of firewhiskey and what appears to be an incredibly expensive bottle of brandy? Did you drink this all at once?"

"Piss off." Severus mumbled.

"Oh come now, the great acid tongued Snape can insult me better than that." Bill was undeterred. "It couldn't be that our dear potions master has a thing for a Gryffindor lioness, could it?"

"Go to hell."

"You do then. I don't blame you, she's quite beautiful. She's with Potter now though what a shame." Bill said dismissively. "Now come on time to get dressed. The headmistress said that no excuse short of dying is acceptable."

"I am dying." Severus growled. "Now get out."

"Women can make you feel like that can't they?"

"There's no woman!" Severus yelled, wincing at his own voice.

"Sure there isn't." Bill smiled. "Now get showered, you look like a chewed up cockroach cluster."

"I will hex you into oblivion if you do not leave my chambers this instant." Severus tried to act menacing.

"I doubt you could even find your wand much less use it right now." Bill laughed. Severus scowled deeply but went into the bathroom to get ready anyway.

Twenty minutes later Bill and Severus made their entrance in the Great Hall. Severus scanned the room and was surprised to find Hermione and Harry at separate ends of the long table. To his trepidation Bill led him to the last two open seats located between Bill's wife Fleur, and Hermione.

"Professor," Severus acknowledged Hermione in low tones while sitting down.

"Severus," she responded softly, he glared at her momentarily before retrieving a light meal of bread and coffee.

"Welcome back Severus," Minerva called from the center of the table. Severus grumbled a response staring down at his lap.

"Forgive him headmistress, he's been…out of sorts. Rejection is tough." Bill cut in.

"Rejection? What rejection?" Minerva asked. Once again Bill stepped in.

"It was a dissertation you'd been working on, right?" Severus looked to be on the verge of attack. The other professors looked at each other quizzically but no one spoke up.

"Oh, well that's most unfortunate, isn't it?" Minerva supplied weakly before allowing the conversation to die out. Eventually private conversations sprouted around the table, but Severus and Hermione remained silent. Just as the pudding was being served Severus felt a gentle pressure on his thigh, he looked down to find a slip of parchment lying folded on his lap. He kept the parchment hidden, unfolding it with one hand. Glancing down he read in Hermione's precise handwriting.

_We need to talk._

_Meet me in the Astronomy Tower at 9 p.m. tonight_

_-H_

He quietly folded the parchment and placed it in his robes pocket. As soon as the dishes were cleared away he left the Great Hall to return to his chambers and think.

* * *

My brain is now drained, if it weren't I would keep going. I'll try to keep updating frequently but since my jobs allows no time for crafting ideas for my stories it will be much slower in coming. As always, I love to hear what you have to say, so review your little hearts out. 


	19. Treachery

Once again many apologies, this chapter took many hours of thought as to the best way to approach it. I like this version best, I hope you do to. I'm going to try to write the next chapter today and I'll put it up so long as I don't get called in to work.

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9:45 p.m: Severus stared at the clock on the wall, if he wanted to make it to the Astronomy tower on time he needed to leave soon. Since dinner he had been fighting himself on whether or not to give Hermione the chance to speak with him. On the one hand she might wish to speak with him to confirm what he already believed to be true, but on the other she might want to be reconciled with him. Severus' fragile self-esteem wouldn't allow that thought to take root. He wasn't going to go.

9:50 p.m.: 'I should go.' Severus thought, tapping his fingers nervously on his desk. He was jittery, anxious, it felt foreign and he didn't like it. At least twelve times in the last five minutes he had started for the door, only to have the fear of rejection plant him back in the seat. 'She'll hurt me, she'll reject me.' He wasn't going to go.

9:55 p.m.: 'Even if I was to go, I would be too late. She will think I refused her and leave before I even get there. She'll run off to Potter like she intended to in the first place.' He was pacing by the door. 'Or she could wait for hours, sad and desperate only to be forced back into Potter's arms by the pain of abandonment.' He was going mad and he knew it. The idea of her being with the boy-who-lived made his heart feel like it had been ripped out of his chest. "I love her." He whispered aloud. Harry Potter be damned he was going to go.

The halls were dark and he was forced to light his way by wand light. When he reached the base of the Astronomy Tower he whispered _Nox_, dark could come to his advantage. He climbed the stairway swiftly and quietly hoping Hermione had not given up hope and left already. He grabbed the iron ring handle and opened the door to the top of the tower.

He walked through the door which slammed behind him; he pulled his wand spinning about. There was no one by the door.

"Reveal Yourself." Severus commanded.

"Hermione won't be coming tonight." Severus recognized the voice immediately.

"What have you done with her Potter?" He asked pointing his wand in the direction of Harry's voice.

"Nothing, she simply asked me to come here tonight to deliver the news in case you went a bit out of hand. She doesn't want to see you anymore, you're a liar and she wants nothing to do with you. So why don't you give up now before you embarrass yourself."

Severus was speechless. This was exactly as he expected it would be.

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Hermione waited in Harry's sitting room, he had sent her a note at dinner asking her to meet him in his chambers at 8:45 pm for an apology and mere minutes after she arrived he made some excuse about visiting the headmistress and asked her to wait for his return. She waited on the couch thumbing through the quidditch books on his side table. That kept her occupied for all of ten minutes so she started to wander; she walked around the perimeter of the room passing an open door. Curiosity got the best of her so she peaked inside.

"That's odd," Hermione said out loud. She was looking in on Harry's bedroom; nothing was out of place except for the trunk at the base of his bed. The lid was open and the items inside had been strewn about the floor as though someone had been searching for something in a rush. She walked into the room to see if anything appeared to be missing. Over the years she had become acquainted with the sorts of things Harry kept in his trunk, and most of the things she knew about were still there, gifts from Remus and Hagrid, pictures of him with Ron and Hermione, and the marauders map.

"Where's the invisibility cloak?" She asked herself. Suddenly worried someone might have stolen his cloak she ran out to the fireplace in the sitting room and threw in some floo powder. "The Headmistress' Office." She shouted into the flames. Sticking her head through, she found no one inside. She pulled back from the flames and thought about what to do for a moment. "Where is Harry? Of course!"

She ran back to Harry's bedroom to collect the Marauders Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." She said tapping the parchment with her wand. As the inked in lines faded into place, she searched the map for Harry. The Weasleys were all asleep in their guest rooms and nearly every professor was in their office or private chambers. She quickly found Harry standing still in the Astronomy tower as if hiding. Severus was heading toward the tower at an amazingly fast pace.

The idea that they might be meeting in the Astronomy Tower to fight over her threw her into action. She ran out of Harry's chambers and on towards the Astronomy Tower.

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Severus hadn't moved for what felt like minutes, utterly shocked. He hadn't expected a fairy tale ending tonight, but he didn't think Hermione was so cowardly as to send Harry to do her dirty work. The sound of thudding footsteps broke Severus out of his stupor.

The door swung open forcefully and all eyes turned to see Hermione enter, gasping for breath. Seeing Hermione freed Severus' voice.

"Have you come to revel in the damage you've done, witch." Severus spat, he pulled his robes about him and shot them a menacing look. "It was not necessary. I'm sure Mr. Potter would have shared all the juicy details. Now if you would please let me pass."

Hermione blinked, entirely confused. She didn't move.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Severus bellowed. Hermione cringed at his command, but slid out of the way.

"Severus!" Hermione spoke in a strangled voice, her eyes watering. He stopped on the stairs and spun about.

"I never expected you to be a sadist, Miss Granger. A simple 'not interested' would have sufficed." His face fell into its customary scowl. Blocking out Hermione's sobs of pain he walked down the stairs and back to his dungeons.

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Cliffy, do not worry you will not be left hanging. I have started chapter 20 and I will finish it after I take care of business today. Please Please Please review, it makes me smile and helps me write.

Much love to my readers!


	20. Breakthrough

AHHHHH, it's crazy two chapters in less than two hours ( I think) Hope you enjoy the extra update.

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"Hermione," Harry whispered softly resting his hand on her shoulder.

"What did you say to him?" Though she was crying he voice was laden with venom.

"I told him to leave you alone, to stop hurting you." Harry was nervous.

"Did you ever think to ask me if that's what I wanted?" her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I can't believe you want him to hurt..."

"Don't…speak…" Hermione barked, interrupting him. "Is this supposed to make me love you? What are you trying to accomplish?"

Harry was silent for a moment wondering if he should respond or stay silent as she had said.

"Well?"

"The other day, after you went out with Snape, you looked depressed, trod upon. I wanted to help you."

"You always want to help don't you? Never mind the fact that pushing your way into my business isn't helping anything." Hermione continued sobbing, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

"We're friend 'Mione, you are my business. I don't want you to be hurt."

"That night I was hurt, but it was the first time Severus ever hurt me." Hermione cried, Harry snorted.

"That's a lie, I can think of at least a hundred times he has mocked you and insulted you just in our time at Hogwarts."

"We're not in school anymore Harry! Severus has repented and…"

"And what you love him?" Harry scoffed. Hermione's face changed at those five words and Harry immediately took notice. "You do don't you? You don't just fancy the greasy git, you LOVE him." Harry said the word as though it was an insult. Hermione stared up at the night sky thoughtfully.

"I love him," she mouthed the words, rolling them around in her mouth. "I love him," she said louder. "I LOVE HIM!" she screamed, her arms clenched at her sides. "I love him and he'll never be mine now. Thank you Harry," she said sarcastically. "I hope you count this among your illustrious accomplishments. Very few people have the singular reward of ruining their friend's life."

Hermione left Harry behind looking positively stricken. He didn't attempt to follow her.

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This is super short, but I don't know how our dear Severus is feeling but he isn't talking to anyone so it might take awhile for me to break through is hard exterior.

Please review!


	21. Merry Chrimbleeve

It took some bribing, which included a few bottles of Ogden's Finest and a box of Cockroach clusters but Severus finally let me into his chambers to see what's going on. It took a remarkably short time, hehe. I was ready to post this update two days ago but it wouldn't let me upload, durr. Oh well it's up and ready now.

Thank you to those who are reviewing they're useful, really.

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To say Severus was upset was like saying a niffler being sat upon by a troll was experiencing minor back pains. He would not leave his room even for meals and when he did eat the house elves drew straws to decide who would be forced to deliver the meal. The days passed yet no one had dared to visit him in such a foul mood, using the continued requests for food as evidence to guarantee his well being.

By the 23rd the Headmistress had had enough of his self pity and prepared to enter the serpents lair and do battle if necessary. She knocked politely upon his door once, twice, three times and receiving no response, she pounded harshly on the door.

"Open up Severus!" She called at the door, again she received no response. Minerva counted to ten then began taking down his wards. Half way through the process the door unlocked itself and the remaining wards fell. Cautiously she entered the room, her balance shaken by what seemed to be Severus' cooperation.

"Severus?" she called out into the dark room. "_Lumos_," as her wand tip lit the room she looked about the sitting room for Severus. While the man himself was not present the room was littered with the waste of a few days, books and parchment scattered, pots of ink left on their side to spill out over the carpet, and remnants of food and drink left on nearly every flat surface. Minerva walked to the door she knew to be Severus' bed chamber and knocked, pushing the door open in the process. In this room it was equally as dark save for a lone candle on the bedside table, the light of the candle shone on Severus' unmoving body casting a death-like shadow over his face. Minerva rushed to his side wondering if he was ill. "Severus, can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you." His voice croaked from disuse. He slowly sat up looking weary.

"What in the name of Merlin happened, Severus? For the past three days I haven't seen you nor Miss Granger and Mr. Potter and no one will tell me what is going on. I want answers." She demanded. Her eyes met Severus' and she was struck by the amount of pain in his eyes, she'd only seen that level of pain twice before. "Oh dear, Severus…"

"I love her but she won't have me," his voice was thick with emotion. "Not only would she not have me but she used my affections to mock me."

"Miss Granger? Hermione? Sweet little bookworm Hermione?" Minerva was amazed.

"The very same," They sat silently for a few moments as she processed the information. "I had thought that for once I would have had a chance at happiness but once again I sabotaged myself."

Upon Minerva's look of confusion, he proceeded to tell her the whole truth from the night of the final battle to the present date. Minerva listened like an understanding mother to a child, resting her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. At any other time this situation would have been horribly uncomfortable for the both of them, but it appeared to be what Severus needed so she humored him.

"Well Severus, I can't say that I would fault Hermione for being upset with you, but I just don't believe that she would do something like that." Severus scoffed.

"Of course, your precious little lioness wouldn't harm a life let alone break an old man's heart."

"Severus if you're old then I am positively ancient. Listen, I think you have been wallowing in your self pity for too long, come now get up." Severus looked at her as if she was crazy. "Up up up."

Severus refused to be moved, but with a few short flicks of her wand all the candles in the room were lit and Severus was out of his bed, cleansed and dressed.

"Insufferable wench," Severus growled.

"That's more like the Severus we know and love." Minerva smirked. "Come along, it's Christmas Eve and I want you in the Great Hall for dinner."

"Bloody annoying…" Severus grumbled, reluctantly following Minerva from his bed chamber.

"No need to thank me Severus it's my pleasure to help you." Minerva had a distinct twinkle in her eye.

'Sweet Circes is that woman channeling Albus?' He thought, following Minerva out of his chambers and up through the dungeons to the Great Hall. The room was decorated extravagantly but Severus hardly took notice, his eyes were drawn to Hermione. She was dressed in lovely green and burgundy dress that skimmed over the lines of her body making her look every bit the woman she had grown to be. But as the eyes traveled to her face her eyes looked dead and her face gaunt as they had been when she arrived at Hogwarts.

She stood with Fred and George smiling half-heartedly at their attempts to amuse her. Though her behavior seemed out of sorts, Severus ignored it and moved to the fireplace to hide from her eyes. 'I hope she feels bad, vile witch.'

Severus had sat by the fireplace for about a half hour when the Headmistress stood and addressed the guests which included a number of governors, ministry employees, and personal friends of Minerva.

"Welcome everyone and thank you for joining me and the staff of Hogwarts in celebrating another holiday season. I hope you all enjoy yourselves as we dine on a meal exquisitely prepared by our house elves, and drink up because there will be dancing and I expect to see you all on the floor." Minerva gave Severus a particularly meaningful look at that. "If you would all be seated where your place card is we may begin."

Severus scowled; he knew Minerva would be up to no good. 'She probably already knew what happened she just wanted me to tell her in person.' He thought. He slowly made his way to the tables, looking with no interest at the names on the bits of parchment.

"Hey Snape, your seats over here," Fred or George called from across the hall. Severus sneered and Hermione looked like her puppy had been killed as it became apparent that there was only one seat at the table and it was beside one Hermione Granger.

"May I sit here, Miss Granger?"

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I must end here cause I have some other stuff to do. I'm trying to write as much as possible while I have the time and the ideas. It sure mkes my wrists hurt to type so much.

PLEASE review, I want opinions on where to take this.


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